Unclejoe420 Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 Hey folks Wasn't entirely sure where to post this, but I need to get this off my chest before it drives me nuts; I am starting to think I am the dumbest person on Earth. This is mainly due to the sneaking suspicion that someone I chat to online is not who they say they are. I have been chatting to this person for quite some time now, and it's only recently that I have kinda come to my senses and starting to think that things are not exactly kosher. Other folks I chat to have warned me about this person possibly not being who they say they are, but being the moron that I am I kept chatting to them. Won't go into any other details for now, but needless to say I am not feeling all that great now that I realise that I may have been duped, and duped good.. Sorry to have posted this here, but I needed to get this out before I do my nut. If this topic is not appropriate for here, then can someone let me know, and I will then delete it. Thanks for listening anyway UJ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Fox Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 (edited) Joe One thing we need all do is to remember that the net is a haven of retreat. We can safely hide behind the screen of the computer. Knowing that we can talk to everyone. And no one really can hurt us. We can relax away from the hassles of work, traffic, and the busy world. That is really the purpose of the Den as we see it. But we must always remember that most folks are not exactly who they say they are. You did know that Linda is actually Princess Diana who did survive the crash and is hiding in Atlanta did you not?!?!?! What you probably did not know is that she actually lives with AKCoyote Who is not really AK. But rather Elvis, who is living incognito to get rid of all the fans he came to detest! FrBrGr is their youngest son. Something that we must always remember - all kidding aside. We have many great friends here. But that does not always mean that they would be friends if we were to meet them on the street. It can be a strange and confusing old world indeed... W Edited March 30, 2008 by Guest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Worker 11811 Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 I have known a few people on the internet who lied about their identity. Does knowing a person is not who they say they are make it any different? Is their real personality something you would have liked anyway? How can you know the difference between a person's internet personality and their IRL personality? We ALL pretend to some degree when we are on the internet. What makes this any different? Okay... So you were a little slow on the uptake. BFD. The only thing I can think of that would be a problem is if this person lied about their identity to take advantage of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 Contact me Joe! WE will take care of it.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unclejoe420 Posted March 30, 2008 Author Share Posted March 30, 2008 Well, thanks for the overwhelming show of support folks... At least you folks have been honest and straight with me (as far as I know); those of you whom I chat to regularly do at least prove you are who you are - heck, have even met a couple of you IRL!! My main issue with this whole thing is an abuse of trust, to cut a long story short. Guess the best thing I can do is cut my losses and move the feck on... Wish I'd kept schtum now.. UJ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Fox Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 Folks, I was not going to make this post, but I think now that I should. I think it is up to me to do some explaining here to keep this from going further. 1. Posting under two names is not illegal on this site. Yes, we have known of this particular double IP for quite a long while, but no rules were violated. I want to stress that the way IP's work these days, that assuming things due to IP's is very dangerous. We never do that! For instance one of our mods shares an IP with someone else. But both are legit members, and they are two different people. Just because two members share the same IP does NOT mean they are the same person. I must be very careful to stress that. 2. Posting under two names is illegal if "hurt" is involved. If someone purposely deceives or purposely does such to deceive others in some way it is illegal. This was not done. 3. HOWEVER! As shown here this is always a dangerous practice as someone can get hurt very, very easily. You may not want to hurt someone else when you post under a second name. However, generally it is of no real benefit and negative consequences come easily. Indeed, assuming two persons with the same IP means they are the same person can indeed lose some very good friendships for false reasons. 4. As mentioned, we have known about this for a long while. However, we make a point to NEVER jump to conclusions. We do not read PM's for instance (I have told our staff that I would quit if I found proof of any of them doing that and I mean it point blank), and we do not go around checking a member's legitimacy unless that is a necessity due to a misdemeanor of some sort. 5. We do though as mentioned watch under these circumstances and try to not let anyone get hurt as a result, etc. 6. We must remember that there may be reasons for this being done in this case or others. If we do not find misintent, we never assume the worst even if we have more proof than IP's of its being done. We always assume the best unless any personal abuse is involved in some way, etc. In fact we have told members before about what was going on with a double membership when we were suspicious that something wrong was involved and suspicious that someone might get hurt. ***So, in short, as I tried to mention in the message up top. It is too bad when these things lead to something causing personal hurt, etc. We do try to avoid that but we do try to allow second names in some circumstances as long as the member allowed does not do it with intent to abuse. As you know, we try to allow as much personal freedom on the site as we want it to be a home for everyone. Always be careful, because as U/J has found out, the results can be very disappointing and hurtful indeed. We even suggest that you be very careful when meeting members here, etc. People are not always what they seem. U/J, there is no problem with you posting this here. You did not mention names, or personal information, and simply pointed out that this can be hurtful, so your message is well within the scope of this forum White Fox Administrator of the Fur and Wool Dens Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unclejoe420 Posted March 30, 2008 Author Share Posted March 30, 2008 Thanks again for all your help, and for putting up with me rambling on / having a bit of a vent. Think I'll go with the general concensus, chalk this one down to experience and move on; not to put too fine a point on it, but there a plenty more important - and far more cheerful - things to be getting on with!! Once again, thanks for letting me go off on one - really do appreciate it!! UJ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frugalfurguy Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 Thanks for sharing this Uncle Joe. It reminds me of the time years ago when I was looking for a place to rent. Came across somebody that was advertising for a roommate. When I went to check out his place, he said he needed a loan. Offered some old computer equipment as collateral. If I'd have been taking care of myself, I'd have told him if he thought the computer equipment worth the loan he was asking for, take it to a pawn shop. That would have preserved my resources for the house hunt. But I was too caught up with being a nice guy. So I wrote him the check and drove away (yeah, that was before I got rid of the hole-in-the-pocket, four-wheeled fossil sucker) with what turned out to be worthless computer crap. When I phoned to get my money back, he hung up as soon as he knew it was me. Lived in a gated community, so getting to his front door was complicated. I never collected that loan. Probably lucky (if not something he'd arranged anyway) that my application to share his unit didn't qualify. It wouldn't have done to have lived with a swindler like that. But I was definitely taken. That was years before I came in contact with the internet, so there were ways to get taken before there was a web. You're not alone. Asking ourselves what red flags we ignored before we got into our respective unhappiness is one way we can make the best we can of what we went through and work towards a better result next time. Good luck! frugalfuguy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReFur Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 We ALL pretend to some degree when we are on the Internet. What makes this any different? Worker, ...I know I am incredibly naive, from my point of view: why would I want to pretend to be something else on the Internet? ...I would say very much the opposite. I think I am more open here than I am in real life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Worker 11811 Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 You get to reveal only the things you want people to know. You get to hide the parts of yourself that you don't want people to know about. You can make the good parts of your life seem better and you can make the bad parts seem not-so-bad. You get the be the person you really always wanted to be and nobody will know better. Some people do it more than others but I think everybody does it a little bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReFur Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 Hmmm. To me, it is like cheating at golf. It means I care more about what others think about me than my own self respect. But, I am also the one who never got past the three year old stage of constantly asking, "Why?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Worker 11811 Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 Okay... So tell me how did you do the last time you played golf: How many times have you hit one into the water? How many times have you missed an easy putt? How many times, when somebody asked you how well you shot, did you say, "Oh... I wasn't really keeping score... ?" It's a natural thing to want to accentuate the positive things about yourself and play down the negative. Everybody does it. But on the internet, it's just easier to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReFur Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 I don't play. Talking theoretically. Worker, damn it, I am a woman!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Worker 11811 Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 Wow! Left turn into Obtuseville! Hey! That's supposed to by MY racket! How did we get here? All I was saying is that most people "puff themselves up" a little bit when they talk on the internet but, because of the anonymity that electronic communications affords them, SOME people take it too far. I was just making a general statement, not talking about anybody in particular. Generally speaking, we should just understand that people have a natural tendency to present the rosier side of their lives and we should factor that into the equation when we talk to people we have never met. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
auzmink Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 Just add my 10cents - I guess it depends on your 'comfort zone' also. Here, we are among like minded friends, but most of us still keep a degree of anonymity - myself included. Why, don't know, seems stupid now! However, with the web being the way it is, perhaps our personalities will always come through no matter what name we use. Hence those of here for a while are known to each other - almost warts and all! So openness is ok, but care is also good - no point doing things you wouldn't do to someone you met in the street. Auzmink. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReFur Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 Auzmink, Good point. In fact, several members have come on site with another id. Many times, within a dozen or so posts, it was clear who they really were. Through all the misinformation, when you get to know someone here, the truth and the BS does show through. Especially over time. Linda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unclejoe420 Posted April 1, 2008 Author Share Posted April 1, 2008 Well, I stick to being just me - far easier to keep track of one lot of things going on, rather than two.. Just my humble opinion, of course.. UJ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReFur Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 Me, too!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unclejoe420 Posted April 1, 2008 Author Share Posted April 1, 2008 ... And to top things off, it was my birthday a week ago (not sure if I mentioned that already) UJ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReFur Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 See, you are now not only older ...you are wiser!! Happy Birthday Uncle Joe!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unclejoe420 Posted April 1, 2008 Author Share Posted April 1, 2008 Thanks for that Linda!! *hugs* Would be cheeky and ask for a birthday kiss too!! UJ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Worker 11811 Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 Well, then! I guess it's time to bring out the Bears! They'll take any excuse they can get to have a celebration. Just don't let them have too much root beer! They tend to get rowdy when they've had too much! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Fox Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 Sorry, I missed that Joe. Hope you had a great birthday! It is always so strange that folks hate birthdays. I love them. Right "in the middle of no where" you get this great chance for a day to celebrate. Hope you had a great time! W Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReFur Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 Thanks for that Linda!! *hugs* Would be cheeky and ask for a birthday kiss too!! UJ Absolutely!! Lots of hugs and kisses!! Linda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sta Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 TBH, I'm pretty suspicious of a few prolific posters here that are most definitely who or what they make out to be..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now