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Kappa
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Here's a random thought that's been on my mind..

 

How evil does someone need to be in order to end a relationship as a birthday present to you?

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Here's a random thought that's been on my mind..

 

How evil does someone need to be in order to end a relationship as a birthday present to you?

 

That's spiteful, not evil. Evil would be something like the end of Seven.

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True.. you are right. What I did to inspire her to do this, I have 'no idea' but then again, that could be part of the problem?

 

At any rate, it's a nasty way to start a persons birthday in my opinion..

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How about this as a random, evil thought?

 

Find your average 13-15 year old teenage troublemaker and hand him a $100 bill.

 

Don't say anything. Don't do anything else. Just hand it to him and walk away.

 

What's he going to do with it?

 

Will he try to spend it?

Will he show it to his parents and risk them taking it away?

 

What will he buy?

Will his parents ask him where he got it?

 

This is, of course, just a thought experiment but it's a funny one. It would cost you $100 just to try it. Young kids just don't walk around with that kind of money.

 

It'd be fun to see what kind of trouble he gets himself into.

 

Last time I checked, it wasn't illegal to give away money!

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Find your average 13-15 year old teenage troublemaker and hand him a $100 bill. Don't say anything. Don't do anything else. Just hand it to him and walk away. What's he going to do with it?

 

Might be interesting to give Worker $100 and see what he does with it.

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Kappa,

 

If this person did this, it was a present. You do not want to be near someone who can be so cold. There are lots of wonderful ladies out there. If you are with the wrong person, you won't be able to meet the nice ones!!

 

So, congratulations, ... and Happy Birthday!!

 

Linda

 

PS I know it still hurts!

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I actually own the Land of the Lost DVD ...

 

I won't mention the fact that I have memorized the LOTL theme song (one of the coolest ever!!!) ... That would be truly embarrassing ...

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Hey, Kappa;

 

I've been thinking about your original problem and I think I might have something besides a wise-ass answer.

 

A person might break up a relationship right before a birthday, an anniversary or some other special holiday because he or she didn't have the courage to admit it earlier.

 

During a normal day, it is easier to just "play along" and not tell the other person that it's time to break up. Then, when the special day comes along they don't want to get you a gift, buy a card or participate in a celebration with you because doing so represents a commitment to them.

 

And, so, holidays, anniversaries and birthdays are especially difficult times for the weak-willed boyfriend or girlfriend because they don't have the guts to admit that they want to break up so they wait until they can't stand the pressure brought on by the threat of having to strengthen their commitment to you by having to buy you a gift, etc.

 

I'm not putting anybody down, in particular, but I think somebody who does that is a real shit heel! They're not a very nice person, inside, and I wouldn't want to be around somebody who acted like that.

 

So, if this was your girlfriend I suppose she DID do you a favor. It's better to find out now than later on. Right?

 

"Good riddance to bad rubbish," I say!

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Thanks everyone! If I had received a notification, I would have relied before now. Thanks for the wishes everyone.

 

Everyone has valid points and I thank you for the time and thoughts.

 

I will unfortunately mention, that I do remember all the shows the everyone is mentioning.

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Kappa,

 

many men I know have said they had no notification. Difference between men and women. And, bad quality of women. We feel if you cared you would have known!

 

It is a very old book named Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. I did not like the book and I am not fond of the author. But, the tapes I did like. They are not a reading of the book. It helped me a lot to learn more about myself.

 

Linda

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I remember the book you mention. It was used as the theme for several jokes of the time.

 

I'm sorry if there was any confusion, I was referring to 'notification from the site of new posts'.

 

As for what you mentioned or talked about, I know there can be confusion between people and understanding each other. Keeping in mind that I've almost always been involved with a woman that speaks English as a second language. Things can get 'interesting', to use a word, sometimes.

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Kappa,

We had a temporary problem with the site's mail system 2 days ago that may have prevented some notifications from going out.

 

While email notifications can be helpful, one should not rely on them to always inform if any replys or PMs have been posted. There are too many ways that an email can be lost. It is usually a good idea to login periodically to check if anything of interest is awaiting your review.

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Ooh! The old "If you cared, you'd know..." game!

There's no defense for that except, maybe, to play the old, "I'll do whatever you ask, IF you ask..." game in return.

 

Basically you don't do ANYTHING unless specifically asked. But, when asked, you do whatever she asks you. (Within reason.) The idea is to prove your willingness to please while drawing the line at mind reading. Eventually, the other person should realize that if she continues to play the "If you cared.." game she'll never get what she wants.

 

Now, when you talk about women who speak English as a second language, I assume you are talking about Asian women. Right?

 

That poses a very difficult situation for you! Asian women are culturally programmed NOT to speak out in front of men. And, if her parents are still a driving force in her family, that could amplify the situation! Parents of traditional Asian values are especially strict on their children. Doubly so for their daughters!

 

When I was in college I dated a Korean girl whose parents were direct immigrants and still held their traditional Korean family values. Being your average middle-of-the-road White guy, I had a very difficult time getting used to the way her parents treated her and, in turn, the way she acted when she was around them.

 

Unless you are:

 

A) Very, very, familiar with Asian cultural tradition. (Several years or lifelong friends.)

 

B) EXTREMELY committed to the relationship.

 

C) Of Asian descent, yourself.

 

You are going to have an extremely difficult time understanding a woman from a traditional Asian family.

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Coyote.. you have a good point but with job I have being a Net Admin, I don't always enjoy to sit at the computer when I'm home anymore. I do check in from time to time and I will speak up as well. It's my own position that I like being notified when something's going on or updated.

 

Yes, Worker, I do have a firm grasp on Asian cultures. I 'lived' overseas for many years, I have several friends there still and I will admit, I have only dated Asian women for 'a long time' now. I'll never try to pass it off that I know everything, that's just rediculous but I am familiar with how things work. One of the points you make is one of the reasons I find them so attractive, is the high regard they have for family. The point I tried to make earlier though was how easy it is for things to get confusing sometimes. With that said, I believe most will agree that it's more common for someone to get upset when they are confused, instead of simply curious and wanting to find out.

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I'm glad you understand those things because I certainly had a tough time!

 

I only dated a Korean girl for a few weeks. It was nothing serious. And, in the end, we probably would have ended up being just good friends. But, after a while, I found out that her father didn't want me associating with his daughter... At ALL!... Even as just friends! It wasn't until later that I even found out the reason.

 

During that period of time I was a street magician. He didn't like that. He came right out and asked me, one time, whether I thought it was blasphemous for a Christian to be performing magic in public. I told him that everything I did was strictly for entertainment value and that I claim no real magical powers. I even went so far as to show him how I do some of my tricks. But, in the end the thing that bugged him was that I did a scaled-down version of Harry Houdini's old "Swallowing One Hundred Needles" trick.

 

To him, that was an ascetic's trick. Somebody who does "death defying" stunts like that then takes money from people on the street is not to be trusted with his daughter. I could not convince him that what I was doing was entertainment. He thought I was part of some religious cult.

 

I understand his point of view but intercultural relationships are just very confusing to me. Maybe you could teach me.

 

I think you're right. A lot of people just write each other off instead of trying to learn more. It's kind of sad.

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When dating someone that has strong cultural values, it's always difficult and it's a level you have to be prepared to take on 'and' willing to understand. I'm not trying to say that in 'any' derogatory manor at all. It's something that one woman took the time to teach me about. When someone has strong convictions or cultural ties (perhaps not the best way to put it), you're not only dating them but getting involved with who they are as well.

 

(I think I put that the right way... ?)

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