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How men and women shower


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Got this email and thought you might get a laugh. A lot of this is not true, but it is funny.






Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.


If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.


Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.


Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.


Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.


Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.


Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.


Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.


Rinse conditioner off hair.


Shave armpits and legs.


Turn off shower.


Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.


Spray mold spots with Tilex.


Get out of shower.


Dry with towel the size of a small country.


Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.


Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.


If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.





Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.


Walk naked to the bathroom.


If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.


Look at your manly physique in the mirror.


Admire your weiner size and scratch your butt.


Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.


Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.


Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.


Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.


Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.


Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.




Rinse off and get out of shower.


Partially dry off.


Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.


Admire wiener size in mirror again.


Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.


Return to bedroom with towel around waist.


If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo' sound again.


Throw wet towel on bed.




If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this,


there is something so very wrong with you.



Have a great day! And, "woo woo"!!!

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I almost deleted that part of the email. I hate it when comments are made like that. but, I left it. Sorry, should have deleted it.


Hate it even more when these emails say if you don't forward to 10 of your friends all thse bad things will happen.



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Well Linda, you have found a way to beat that system of mental cruelty. Just post it here and more than 10 folks will read it... or at the least skim it.


And yes, am teasing... just in case it is misread.

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I find it funny!

And it fits me too! Exactly!

Of course would I ever pee? Wellllllll........

Certainly not in the neighbor's swimming pool.


At least not now that I know that they can tell exactly when it was done. And I am usually the only one in there!


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I used to walk around with the towel hanging on my 'Weiner' (honestly)


An ex-girlfriend used to blow her nose in the shower (best place to it)


Any one who farts in a shower cubicle is mad (especially if they have been on the beer and curry the night before)


Finally: Linda, how could you be so sexist; or is your hubby's middle name Stereo-type.

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That was funny, Linda!


However, that's not the way I take a shower.


  1. I start at my feet and wash as high as Possible.
  2. I start at my head and wash as low as Possible.
  3. Then, I wash Possible.


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Note at the beginning of my posting the email, I said that a lot of the joke was not true.


Is it sexist? Of course. But, not just towards men.


Think of the role this woman is playing. Aren't many of these things what we expect "perfect" women to be? What if the woman in this joke reacted in a sexually aggressive manner to the husband's actions. Nah, we don't put that in our jokes. Women are demure and polite and proper. Right?


And, no, my husband is not like this on all things. He is neat and if water gets on the floor he has a fit. But, he is playful and I am certain he pees in the shower, although that is not something we discuss.


Now I am going to make it even worse.


As men you probably would not realize that any woman who read it would be smiling. There is something about this stereotype that I love. Women are way too serious. Men add lightheartedness to our lives. And, I believe men are much more accepting of their imperfections. Most of the men I know are much more what-you-see-is-what-you-get.


If you really want to know the way to a woman's heart: buy her a fur!


No, no ... seriously: Make her laugh!



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Linda, My post was not serious!


The sad part is (for men and women) most of it is true.


The ex-girlfriend i spoke about used to spend hours in the shower; God only knows what she was doing. I least when i was in there with her i knew what she was doing; oh such happy days!

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Well Linda - I guess I'm guilty as charged. As also is my wife with all those half empty bottles all over the bathroom.


However I have to say, gone are the days when I can make my hair into a shampoo Mohawk!!!


Think perhaps I'll have a word with my wife, and we will try roll reversals for a week. I really fancy a jaffa cake body scrub. yum yum

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I personally thought it was hilarious! I'll admit, I can identify with some of those guy habits, but not all of 'em.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I'm not allowed in her bathroom!!!!! mine is a cement block shower in the basement...*L* ireally got to work on getting some heat down there before winter..

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