Furmummysboy Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 I have a question and need help. I love and wear fur and so does my gf. We have sex in fur a lot and even have a massive rex rabbit fur blanket on the bed. Now my daugther is getting older and i want to buy her a fur, to pass on the love of fur in a normal way. Is it weird if i buy her a fur? Please help Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreyHand Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 As long as it'll be 'in a normal way' it's very okay. Get her something nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neoJaguar Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 As long as it'll be 'in a normal way' +1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 I'd say it's OK, like as you said: "...in a normal way..." as in societal norms. Get her a rex jacket or something and simply let her enjoy the warmth and fashion of fur. She will discover anything else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 I'm going to take the opposite position. It's not okay UNLESS she actually wants a fur for herself. You need to ask her first. If she isn't interested then you are projecting your interests on her which is unhealthy. Sorry if that seems harsh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minkme Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 Yes I'd say ask her first or take her to a fur store and show her some furs. See what she has to say about wearing one. If she does not care for a fur, save your money so you can get your own fur or fur for the GF. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 (edited) I'd say Foxy is correct on this one. As a parent, you really need to consider the interests of your child. Thanks Foxy! Edited June 28, 2016 by Guest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcel Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 I'm more for the "forced fur" approach. Give a real fox for her birthday and say it's a faux. Kids can't tell the difference and i bet she'll love it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minkme Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 Marcel, you got a point there. Depending on her age and knowledge of fur, she may not know its real or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Furmummysboy Posted June 28, 2016 Author Share Posted June 28, 2016 Thank you everyone for your support and advice. I know she likes fur because my gf left here fox fur coat out and she found it was playing in it. So i guess she likes fox fur lol. But what to get her??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neoJaguar Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 But what to get her??? Someone already answered that. These threads are getting to the point to where it seems kind of weird in my honest opinion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 These threads are getting to the point to where it seems kind of weird in my honest opinion. Agreed. This is turning into a serious eyebrow raiser. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Worker 11811 Posted June 30, 2016 Share Posted June 30, 2016 Depends on age. If she's under five or six y.o., I wouldn't. She's just not old enough to care for something like that. Maybe a faux fur or maybe something with furry trim but not a full fur... just yet. Kids that young get dirty and they quickly grow out of their clothes. Yes, even little girls get dirty! I don't think that it would be forcing or projecting your interest because parents make decisions and buy things for their kids all of the time. They decide what clothes kids wear, what toys they play with, what foods they eat and all sorts of things. Buying a fur isn't forcing unless the kid expresses a DIS-interest. You would serve broccoli to your child, for dinner, even if you knew that she might not like it. You would ask her to try it but, if she didn't like it, you wouldn't (shouldn't) force her to eat it. If she tries it and doesn't like it, you might tell her that it's okay and that she can eat carrots (or some other vegetable that she does like) instead. Why would asking a kid to wear fur be any different? You ask her to wear something new but, if she doesn't like it, you don't force her. You let her wear some other kind of coat instead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 30, 2016 Share Posted June 30, 2016 When you ask your child to do something you are imposing an expectation on her. Children are extremely sensitive to the expectations of their parents and the familial dynamic in general. They acquiesce to most injunctions because they crave the love and approval of their family. Parents establish the expectation that their children should eat nutritious food because it is healthy for them. There is no potential downside to it. Much as we may not like it, fur carries a social taboo in many places. There is an implicit ethical question that each individual must answer for herself. Additionally, fur has a sexual connotation for many on this site, which adds an extra level of weirdness with respect to how it should be framed for children. I'm not saying we shouldn't pass on our enthusiasm for fur to our children if they share our interests. What I am saying is tread lightly. Children don't perceive implicit communications the way adults do. You don't want to make them feel torn between parental approval and their own individuated sensibilities. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Worker 11811 Posted June 30, 2016 Share Posted June 30, 2016 It is a parent's job to teach things to their kids and introduce them to new things. That's not forcing things on them. If a child is introduced to something and they don't like it but the parent keeps trying to make them like it, THAT is forcing. Taboos are usually taught by parents and close social relationships. Introducing them to fur and teaching them that it is okay to wear fur, if they want to, is breaking taboos. This does not mean...and I don't think the O.P. intended to just give the child a fur coat and let her wear it to school every day without supervision. First, it's an expensive item. I would think that a nice fur coat would be worn on special occasions or, at least, "nice" occasions, versus every day school or play clothes. As such, I assume that the parents would be nearby in case anything bad happens. And... No, not everybody thinks about fur in a sexual way. In fact, the majority do not. Of course, everybody occasionally fantasizes about different things, including fur but most people do not automatically think about sex when they see or think about fur. That's mostly reserved to people who visit this (and similar) websites. It would be incorrect to assume that presenting fur to a child automatically sexualizes them. As long as the child is old enough, I don't think giving them a fur coat is a bad thing at all. I'm not saying that parents should just give them a coat without thinking. The parents know, or should know, the child well enough to determine whether she would like it. It is not a decision that should be taken lightly. Then, again, that's why the O.P. is asking the question in the first place. Isn't it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcel Posted June 30, 2016 Share Posted June 30, 2016 It's not only the parent's who has something to say about this. Her best friend's has a huge impact on what to wear. If they seen her parent's wearing fur,im sure they have been talking about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Posted June 30, 2016 Share Posted June 30, 2016 Here's what I did for my nipote, who will be six this year: as much as I wanted to go overboard and buy fluffy baby-sized coats and boots a la Kanye West, I gave her a simple, soft pull-through knitted rex rabbit scarf. This is a piece that emphasizes texture, and it's not something that looks overtly like an animal pelt ... especially important if your daughter has friends with fundamentalist/vegan parents. That way, she can pass it off as fake. The last thing I want is for my nipoti to turn against me when I pull out one of my enormous coats in the winter, let alone a relatively conservative reversible leather jacket. I would echo our friends who suggest that you don't force it. That would have the opposite effect. It's exactly why I abhor wearing suits and ties, let alone full dress clothes! Cheers! J. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Furmummysboy Posted July 1, 2016 Author Share Posted July 1, 2016 Thank you for everyone's opinion and its helped a lot. I think ill wait with getting her a fur until she ever asks for 1. It may never happen and thats her choice and im ok with that and i never want to force anything on her being broccoli or fur lol. We have a lot of fur at home but our friends dont know so might b best to keep it from the kids too. Thank you all for your input its much appreciated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panther10 Posted July 1, 2016 Share Posted July 1, 2016 Thank you everyone for your support and advice. I know she likes fur because my gf left here fox fur coat out and she found it was playing in it. So i guess she likes fox fur lol. But what to get her??? Well get her a fox fur then lol. But I'd advise you not to buy anything if she's still pretty young. First of all, it's creepy when parents buy their child a fur coat. And two, kids misplace things like crazy....So I would highly advise against buying her anything with an expensive pricetag unless you know she is responsible enough to own it. She also has to be aware of the proper maintenance and care needed when it comes to owning a fur coat. How to hang the coat and store it during the off season, how to clean it, when it's appropriate to wear it, etc.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neoJaguar Posted July 1, 2016 Share Posted July 1, 2016 I think we have the answer here.. and as much as I hate to censor - this has gotten to the creepy level for me. I'm gonna lock the thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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