Advice needed - shoudl I tell my wife before or after purchase?

[Aldhissla]

I'm on the brink of buying a double sided fox stole, some fur mittens and some hats for fur fun with my wife. She knows about my love of fur and sometimes we make love on our fox blanket. Last time she even told me that it felt good to touch the fur during the sex and I was of course thrilled, almost to the point that she got a bit scared...

Now I want to move on and use more fur during our love making so I'm going to buy these fur items for us and me.

 

The only thing I'm wondering though and need advice on is if I should tell her before I make the purchase or after when the furs arrive? I'm not sure of her reaction in any of the scenarios and I'm a bit afraid that if I tell her now she will think it's a bit too much or say something that discouragages me from making the deal. But if I don't tell her and just shows it to her when the furs arrive it wil be quite an awkward moment and I'm not sure of how it will turn out.

One idea I have is to call it a brthday present to me from me, my birthday is coming up soon. And just say that the best gift for me would be her wearing them.

 

I've told her about 80-90% of everything concerning my love for fur. The thing I haven't told her about is my wish and fantasies of us having a closet filled with furs for pleasure, wearing and fun and that I would love to wrap her and myself in furs every time we have sex. I'm a bit scared that she will find this a bit too much.

 

What do you think? Is one option better than the other? After writing this I think I should tell her the remaining 10-20% of what I want and how I feel. I think that it would remove a big weight from my shoulders, but it's not so easy just to tell her. Maybe write a letter? Or send her an email with pictures of furs I'd like to see on her? Suggestions?

 

Thanks for reading!

[Cyclobasti]

They way I see it you won't be 100% percent happy, if there's 10-20% of the thing you love you have to hide. Then again I don't know your wife, but if she loves you she will get over it I think. It's a tough call, but in the end you gotta do what makes it easier for you

 

I'm in a similar situation, where I'd like to buy a new piece of fur, but my girlfriend already told me that she doesn't want me to, so I'm probably going to wait until she is abroad xD

[red_fox]

buy the mittens, let it somewhere like over the bed, see her reaction, tell these 10~20%, then you get the rest

[Furrymare]

Okay being a woman with a fur fetish I might give you the right advise. Reading between the lines your wife learns to enjoy fur but she needs time, pushing straight forward right now is not a good idea. If I were you I would buy the fur mittens without telling her before. Promise her a special massage with blindfold eyes and use the fur mittens. I am sure afterwards she would not mind to use fur more often in the bedroom.

[Guest]

Aldhissla, I suggest that you drop a few hints about buying more furs and gauge her reaction. You could say "I was looking at some furs online and I'm thinking of buying" or something to that effect. If she is positive about it you should wait a day or two and tell her about the purchase. If she seems skeptical then it is best to dial it in. I wouldn't recommend springing the purchase on her after the fact, you don't want her to feel like you are hiding things from her. Hope that helps.

[minkme]

I think I would go with Foxy's idea. Look online to see if you could find the mittens you were thinking about, see what she thinks. Don't go buy the stole, mittens and hats the same time.

[Marcel]

almost to the point that she got a bit scared...

 

Take it easy,man!

 

Use what you got before try to buy anytihng more.

The fox blanket is a good start.

[Aldhissla]

Thanks for your input and thoughts!

 

The Idea of blindfold is good but will not work on her, she doesn't like that. But its a good idea on somebody else

 

Maybe the best thing is to take it slow, tell her the remaining 10-20% and then buy the mittens after a while after asking her again if she is okay with it.

[Marcel]

A good call!

 

Maybe ask what she likes before telling yours.

[samurman]

Women are much more conscious of the budget/cost implications of expensive purchases. I think it is safe to say your wife would consider these items in the same league as buying a 80" 4K Ultra High Definition Xtra Xpensive Super Deluxe TV for your favorite sports viewing pleasure. If you have no debt and no difficulties paying the bills, then fine, go splurge. But if you have been postponing some of her requests for a new this or new that, then she might be quite upset.

[Guest]

I would suggest surprising her with the mittens (I have double sided fur ones with fur on the inside and outside so when I give my fiancé a massage it feels nice for the both of us) and a massage. If you surprise her on your birthday she's less likely to be upset and your doing something you love with her to see her happy since she likes the feel of fur from the blanket. You can use the gloves to pleasure her as well and rub her breasts for for play with them. I would suggest a fur hat if her reaction is good and instead of a fur stole get her a fox fur coat at Xmas saying its a present for the both of you.

[Aldhissla]

Women are much more conscious of the budget/cost implications of expensive purchases. I think it is safe to say your wife would consider these items in the same league as buying a 80" 4K Ultra High Definition Xtra Xpensive Super Deluxe TV for your favorite sports viewing pleasure. If you have no debt and no difficulties paying the bills, then fine, go splurge. But if you have been postponing some of her requests for a new this or new that, then she might be quite upset.

Our budget situation is no problem and the furs I'm thinking of buying won't be so expensive. I'm also thinking about buying some extra hats to re-sell in winter and in that way finance some of the other furs. Can be a good argument for her perhaps!

[Aldhissla]

I would suggest surprising her with the mittens (I have double sided fur ones with fur on the inside and outside so when I give my fiancé a massage it feels nice for the both of us) and a massage. If you surprise her on your birthday she's less likely to be upset and your doing something you love with her to see her happy since she likes the feel of fur from the blanket. You can use the gloves to pleasure her as well and rub her breasts for for play with them.

That's not a bad idea. But maybe it can feel a bit like blackmailing her if I play the "it's my birthday-card"? Or am I to conscious?

 

The thing is I feel like I have taken it slow with this whole fur-thing ever since we met. Now it's been about five years since i first told her and we haven't come so far, still on the same fur-level as we were then! (Ok, we have progressed since then, but it has been with small mouse-steps) And that makes me a bit frustrated and thus I want to speed up things a little bit and get things moving. Maybe take charge and tell her what I want for a change, usually we still are quite shy to each other and what we want when it comes to our sex life. So it's not just about the fur, it's also about our whole sex life situation. I'm getting tired of not saying and showing what I want, but I'm on the same time a bit scared of doing so.

 

I also feel that I want to have more fur pay now and not look back in twenty years and ask myself why we didn't do it while we were (quite) young!

[Guest]

I talked to my wife about my fur fetish a couple months after we met and she decided that she didn't have a thing for fur but would wear it for me anyways and now I have 2 nice foxes fur coats that she wears for me and my biggest regret would have been not telling her everything about my fetish and not buying the coats for us to enjoy. It's not black mail if you do it on your birthday, either she's not upset or she's a bit upset but she loves you and knows you've been holding off for a while and now it'll make you happy and fulfilled so she won't hold it against you long and even less since its your birthday. It might even bring you closer together once your open with her. Plus if she doesn't like it, you can always sell the fur items on eBay.

[Guest]

And the bonus with mittens is that even if she doesn't like wearing them, you can use them to pleasure yourself and it's more acceptable to see men wearing fur mittens outside. Be completely open with your wife because you will never be happy and always wonder "what if". If ypur wife is anything like mine, she'll be happy to know more ways to please you.

[Marcel]

If she don't like the blindfold,then there is some trust issues.

I wouldn't surprise her with anything before you sorted that out.

 

There are training camps that can help you with that.

[Aldhissla]

If she don't like the blindfold,then there is some trust issues.

I wouldn't surprise her with anything before you sorted that out.

No, I don't believe it is a trust issue. I think she just doesn't like it, neither in bed or at parties or wherever blindfolds turn up.

[Trum300]

My experience. I bought my wife a $2,000.00 blue fox stroller coat. Her first reaction was we can't afford (downer), we tried using it time after time and because of her disinterest we finally sold it on Ebay for $450.00 and it was pristine and it had full sleeves. It is definitely is best to find out how your partner feels for the fetish before making such an investment, she knew it was for me and really not her she could care less. Oh well, 36 years later it is still in my bucket list.

 

PS: She looked really hot in it. When I saw in go out of our door my heart was broken, however the little Russian cutie who bought looked great in it and was concerned about her husbands reaction to he purchase. I will still have my memory of the purchaser standing in front of a full length mirror, posing in her jeans and blonde pony tail coming out of the back of her baseball cap.

[Aldhissla]

Time for an update regarding this I think. It's always nice to hear what happened, at least I think so, so here goes:

 

I eventually decided to buy two fur mittens, one in blue fox and one in black mink and two fox hats, one in white and one in blue fox. I'm going to sell the hats, but keep the mittens, I've worn the mink mittens a couple of times when the temperature has been low and I love it!

 

But, let's get to the point! My wife saw the package when it came and actually got a bit worried as she understood that I had bought fur items. She thought that is was more sexual playthings I guess, but when the kids were asleep and we could talk I explained more of what I like about fur and how I love it even more when she wears it or when we are making love with fur. I then showed her the thing I bought and she was relieved to see that it was "normal" things and nothing kinky. Since then I've enjoyed some lovemaking on our fox fur bedspread, have hoped for a fox mittens massage but haven't put any pressure on her to put them on and wear them for me.

 

I guess that maybe I'll never roll around in a bed full of furs with her, or that my dream of having a massive amount of fur coats maybe never will come true. But it's ok. I won't be a professional hockey player either and maybe I'll never see New York, but that's also ok. Some dreams and fantasies will never become true, and that's it. I can accept that. I still feel lucky that my wife likes furs and that I can buy her the occasional fur coat to wear or have fur rugs and my bedspread around the house and sometimes have sex with her on it.