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Bird excrement.


Foxb
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Yes, it is a weird thread title... but alarmingly relevant.

 

A pigeon bombed my fur jacket the other day! I was horrified. It was on my rabbit fur jacket, and since only the collar and cuffs reveal fur, the rest of the jacket is suede... that is exactly where the offensive poop landed. RIGHT ON A SEAM!

 

Thankfully, it was only a small amount and it came off very easily with a very gentle wipe with a piece of moistened jersey. It helps that the jacket is smoother and slightly more waterproof than you'd expect the suede side to be (I think it has been treated in the dying process).

 

All the same, I wasn't very impressed. It was the worst jacket it could possibly have happened to! Maybe I need to acquire a feather boa... ... but pigeons aren't very glamourous.

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I was told a performing arts theater that one time, one of their guest wearing a fur coat, got hit by bird poop. The theater offered to have it cleaned but the lady never took them up on the offer.

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Foxb:

 

I have to admit, that is my biggest fear when wearing my rabbit jacket. At least it was on the leather side. Also, look at it this way, it wasn't in your hair! I know, GROSS! But I have had the latter happen to me...a long time ago.

 

Sounds like you were able to handle it appropriately.

 

All the best!

 

J

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A guy and his blonde girlfriend were walking on the beach when a seagull dropped a bomb on the blonde, hitting her right in the face.

 

The guy said, "There's a restroom right over there. Let me get some toilet paper."

 

The blonde replied, "It's no use. That bird will be a mile away by then!"

 

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Worker:

 

 

 

I guess that as soon as you step outside, you take a chance about things like this! But just because it has happened once, doesn't make it more likely to happen again in the future (or less likely, unfortunately). I think it happens so rarely that hopefully it won't occur in a more devastating fashion...

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I used to be a lifeguard at the beach. Seagulls were a fact of life.

 

The place I worked was a state park and a nature preserve. Technically, people aren't supposed to feed the birds or animals. Human food isn't good for them. It also promotes dependence on humans for food. Even the trash cans have locking lids to prevent animals going after the garbage.

 

Still, we'd catch people and families feeding the seagulls. There would be flocks of birds flying around, squawking and clamoring for food. Those damned birds could recognize a bag of Cheetos from a mile away! The bag doesn't even have to be open. Just set it on the picnic table where they can see it. You'll be mobbed by birds in thirty seconds.

 

I haven't got a problem if a kid tosses a piece of bread to the birds. Everybody does it. I don't see the harm in it. The problem is when people feed the birds whole bags of popcorn and Cheetos and stuff. When I saw that I would go tell them to stop, especially if it was anywhere near my guard stand. First, the birds are a distraction when I'm trying to pay attention to a hundred kids in the water. Second, I don't want to get crapped on! When you feed the birds, they DO crap. The more they've been feed, the more they crap. If you feed them a whole "family size" bag of popcorn the sand will be white in five minutes. I shit you not! Okay, so that makes a third point. Feeding the birds creates a sanitation problem.

 

On a busy weekend, I'd probably have to warn people not to feed the birds two or three times per day. Over the course of a three-day holiday weekend, a dozen times, easily. I'd invariably get asked the same questions and hear the same lame-ass protests. "Why not? My kid just wants to feed the birds!" I could explain until I was blue in the face; welfare of the animals, dependence, whatever. People wouldn't listen. They just thought it was fun to feed the birds. I was not about to have a Mom and her kid cited for feeding popcorn to the birds. I would just explain the problem then leave them with some words of wisdom: "What goes in must come out." Most people got the hint right away. Those who didn't soon found out. I would just go back and sit in my chair and wait for the inevitable. It wouldn't be long before the five year old kid ended up running back to her Mom because she got bombarded by bird poop. That's when I would pull a wet-wipe from my first aid kit, take it over to the parent and say, "Told you so!"

 

That same scene happened, over and over, so many times it was beyond funny. You could practically hear the Benny Hill theme song (

) playing in the background.

 

It's not a lot of fun getting dive bombed by a bird. The only thing you really can do is to make jokes about it. Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Maybe an old wives tale, but my family used to say it 'brought good luck'.....so perhaps a sable jacket might arrive in the post unexpectedly

 

Auzmink

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