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Atleast one of these will make you smile :)


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You can't read this and stay in a bad mood!


1. How do you catch a unique rabbit?

Unique Up On It.


2. How do you catch a tame rabbit?

Tame way.


3. How do crazy people go through the forest?

They take the psychopath


4. How do you get holy water?

You boil the hell out of it


5. What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?



6. What do eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?



7. What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?

A stick


8. What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.


9. What do you call Santa's helpers?

Subordinate clauses. (this one is my favorite!)


10. What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?

Quatro cinco.


11. What do you get from a pampered cow?

Spoiled milk.


12. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?



13. What Lles at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A nervous wreck.


14. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Anyone can roast beef.


15. Where do you find a dog with no legs?

Right where you left him


16. Why do gorillas have big nostrils?

Because they have big fingers.


17. Why don't blind people like to sky dive?

Because it scares the dog.


18. What kind of coffee was served on the titanic?



19. What is the difference between a harley and a hoover ?!

The location of the dirt bag.


20. Why did pilgrims' pants always fall down?

Because they wore their belt buckles on their hats.


21. What's the difference

Between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?

A bad golfer goes, whack, dang!

A bad skydiver goes dang! Whack.


22. How are a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce the same?

Somebody's gonna lose a trailer.


Now, admit it.. at least one

of these made you smile.


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This is my favorite because of it's simiplicity


7. What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?

A stick


I had to think about this one for a few seconds, but love it!


17. Why don't blind people like to sky dive?

Because it scares the dog.


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  • 1 month later...

O.K. a chemistry joke


Two atoms walk into a bar. One says to the other "I've lost an electron" The other replies "Are you sure?" The first one says "I'm POSITIVE!"



Here's one for the biology folks


A mushroom walks into a bar. He sits down next to a young lady at the bar. He asks if he could buy her a drink. She responds "Um, O.K." They are chatting away having a seemingly good time. The mushroom then asks: "Would you like to dance?" The young lady replies "NO!" The mushroom is offended and asks "But why?" The young lady responds: "Because you're a MUSHROOM!" The mushroom responds "But hey I'm a FUN-GI!"


My $0.02

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