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A few Punny sayings...


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1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.


2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .


3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.


4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.


5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.


6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.


7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.


8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


9. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.


10. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'


11. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.


12. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'


13. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.


14. The former military man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.


15. A backward poet writes inverse.


16. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.


17. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris , you'd be in Seine .

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