Hi after a long absence

[frugalfurguy]

Life's hit me pretty hard: recognition of how deep is my pattern of keeping my distance from people and sabotaging relationships. Admitting it as a compulsive pattern floored me with depression a good share of this spring.

 

At the same time admitting it's a compulsion puts me that much closer to where I can let go of it and accept healthy connections with people instead. It's not going to come overnight, but the possibility's out there.

 

I took a day's vacation for Earth Day to give myself a present, opening up a Yahoo group dedicated towards mutually respectful conversation between fur lovers and fur haters. Because it is a fur-neutral group, I'm not going to list the link directly until I've determined that would be appropriate. However, I can get it to you through PM meanwhile, so long as you understand it's neutral instead of pro or anti.

 

So far, I haven't prioritized letting people know about the site, and it's attracted only two other joiners so far. Neither of them has revealed their perspective.

 

frugalfurguy

[White Fox]

Hey Frugal

 

We've missed yu'

 

You can be at the other site and here too! Drop in more often.

 

W

[ReFur]

frugalfurguy,

 

Nice to see you back. Life is a journey, isn't it? I wish you comfort in your journey.

 

Linda

[Guest]

Glad to see you back.

 

Always enjoy your comments.

 

OFF

[frugalfurguy]

Thanks, Linda, White Fox, and OFF.

 

There were a couple times I stopped by and lurked a bit, but it had definitely been a long while since I posted anything.

 

One of the gifts that came my way as a result of opening up to the awareness of my issues I have so far was a visit to family early this month. I had a twin nephew and niece graduating from high school. Same weekend another niece graduating but ditching one of the ceremonies to show up at one of the events of the twins. I had a frank conversation with a brother (not the father of any of the graduates this time around). We'd rather drifted apart due some disagreements. The differences surfaced in our exchange. I was able to listen without altering my way of seeing things just for the sake of agreeing. We both had some rather strong emotional responses and parted with a hug. I've reached out to him and offered a foundation to build a future relationship.

 

My parents also contributed mightily to my enjoyment. They're in amazing health. They took a day with me traveling the Metrolink to Los Angeles Union Station then out to where we could get a bus line to the Getty Museum. It was all of our first time there. We spent a couple hours grazing the upper level painting collections.

 

This is something I kept to myself ... until now. I believe it's the first time I've been face to face with actual work of Titian. I don't think any of the works we saw would have been the ones Sacher Masoch references in Venus in Furs. Still, there was that connection for me, and I felt awestruck and imposed upon. So much lurks in the shadows when I looked closely.

 

Something else Denizens might appreciate. I didn't note the specific artists; however, I did see several Dutch portraits from I believe the 16th century of women wearing a Jak. This was repeatedly a long jacket of red velvet trimmed with white fur. I would guess either rabbit or ermine. But if it was ermine, it didn't have the tails. I wondered if it weren't lined with the fur, too.

 

Anyway, I'm a very lucky guy to be the age I am with parents who still have the stamina for such an adventure.

 

frugalfurguy

[ReFur]

Sounds like you had a very nice visit. I am glad for you!

 

I believe the fur used was Ermine. It has been a fur noted for its connection Royalty, if I am remembering my reading correctly.

 

Linda

[Guest]

I think if you wore Rabbit back then you would not have been wealthy enough to have a portrait made of you.

 

As an aside, Museum wanderings are a favorite pastime of mine. When I was back last month for my mom's 98th I went to one of my most favorite museums of all. The Mariners Museum in Newport News, VA. It's one of the top museums of this type in the world and if you are ever in that part of the world it's worth all the time you can afford to see it. I spent many hours as a kid there.

 

Some of my most memorable experiences have been in museums.

 

OFF

[frugalfurguy]

Yeah, ermine seems likely. At the same time, these portraits weren't of royalty but of members of a rising merchant class. I know that at certain times there were actually laws forbidding all but royalty from wearing ermine and sable. But perhaps by the time of the Jak craze that shows up in these portraits, such laws had long ago been contested and cast aside.

 

Something else kind of strange came over me while browsing these works, so many of them by artists even I with my slight exposure to art history recalled. I compared this experience with browsing art galleries in the rather provincial city I live in. When I'm looking at work by contemporary artists struggling to make do in such an outlying county, I feel more connected somehow. That's not to say I didn't savor this rare chance to see canonized masterworks, but in a way it heightened my appreciation for the survivors making do in the relative cultural vacancy of my town, my cheesy acquisitive era.

 

OFF,

 

Mariners Museum in Newport News, VA.

 

I'll make a note of it. At the same time, the last time I was near that coast would have been somewhere near 20 years ago. Unless my financial status changes I don't think it's likely.

 

Thanks for sharing your lifelong appreciation of that institution. I'd never heard of seafaring adventures in your life. Did your early experiences there steer you anywhere in life?

 

frugalfurguy

[Guest]

Many years ago i was in the Navy but that was after the Sea Scouts and a lot of sailing on the east coast as a boy.

 

Get out when I can here in the upper left hand corner. One of the main reasons I came here.

 

Love the ocean and the mountains

 

OFF