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Velvet_Tigress
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An odd thought crossed my mind the other day.

 

Perusing my room, I realized that my fur closet was actually TOO full of furs and that in order to make room for my summer clothes here in Wisconsin that I'd need to make a lot of room somewhere.

 

Really thought about what I could do to make more room, which in turn led me to make a decision I've been mulling over for some time.

 

I'm going to have to just throw away all the furs I don't use.

 

Like she's telling the truth, you're likely thinking, but you have to realize that although I have a lot of space, I just don't have enough for to money to store my furs elsewhere or let them go to waste in my house with the weather being what it is in Wisconsin.

 

For example; summers are often unseasonably hot here, which in turn can make furs degrade faster I believe I was once told and attract dried out fur eating insects like Wisconsin Fur Weevils.

 

Only by getting rid of my beloved furs and replacing them with fake fur can I save my apartment and the rest of the people in my building from an infestation.

 

Okay, you probably think I'm nuts but it's just not true. Just the other day a nice lady down the street had her mink coat devoured.

 

Listen, if any of you are around the Wisconsin area, please feel free to go through my trash for the next few days. My fur selection might not live up to the quality and number of some of your own, but I do have a nice collection in any case.

 

So, anyhow, keep an eye on my trash, help yourself to as many furs as you so desire to take and keep my apartment and my renter's free of the plage of Wisconsin Fur Weevils.

 

Do any of you think this is some sort of joke?

 

Are any of you looking at the first letter I've put in every paragraph thus far and finding some sort of strange message?

 

You might, if you just happen to look hard enough.

 

!

 

(P.S. To those of you unfamiliar with Wisconsin Fur Weevils, be warned! While mainly a Wisconsin problem [as evidenced by the rash of 'naked deer' sightings this time of year] you should be prepared for insects that can damage your other valuables as well, such as Taxdue Americanus, an annoying but deadly money eater, and Hairloss Rogainicus, the South American Hair muncher.)

 

(And Happy April Fool's day. I hope most of you figured it out, and have some idea what I'm talking about. )

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You know I was thinking that if those "Naked Deers" were the two leg variety I might just think of coming to join the party!

J

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I'd been waiting for the shoe to drop but you had me going until about half way down. Then I thought, "Hold the phone..."

Nice one!

 

South American Hair muncher

 

That sounds just the slightest bit X-Rated...

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I'd been waiting for the shoe to drop but you had me going until about half way down. Then I thought, "Hold the phone..."

Nice one!

 

South American Hair muncher

 

That sounds just the slightest bit X-Rated...

 

Er...wasn't meant to be x-rated.

 

I actually fooled a balding friend with the South American Hair muncher story, years ago, and offered him some advice about hanging onions around his bed. Surprisingly, he actually *bought* it for a few days.

 

We Wisconsinites have a bevy of insects, but I've never heard of a bug that eats dried out fur coats. Then again, I *do* shell out some $'s every summer to put my coats up because it does get hot here.

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How very clever!

 

I realized that my fur closet was actually TOO full of furs...

 

I knew something sounded odd when I read this. It's not possible to have too many furs.

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I actually fooled a balding friend with the South American Hair muncher story

 

Years ago, comedian, David Brenner told a story about fooling a guy with a fake hemorrhoid cure. He said that the oil from peanuts helps soothe the pain. He actually got a guy to put peanut butter on his hemorrhoids!

 

Poor sucker! He walked around with peanut butter up his bum every day for a week!

 

And, all these years, I have been WAITING to spring that joke on somebody!

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My worst april fools ever when I was staying with my ex grilfs family on the Gower coast. I got up early and over breakfast told everyone that it had been on the radio that there were a school of killer whales sighted off the coast and one was stranded on the beach.

 

I didnt tell them the truth, even though they were all out with binocs.

 

About an hour later her uncle went down the pub and the whole village were mobilised to go to the beach with ropes etc. Its two miles through difficult marshland to get to the beach.

 

I havent played one since.

 

I have to admit this posting got me going for a moment though....I thought S**t I am sure I have a coat from Wisconsin in my collection

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I did actually set one up yesterday but I don't know if anybody got caught.

 

It was an age-old joke: Rattlesnake Eggs!

 

Get a large manilla elvelope. On the outside, using magic marker, write:

 

RATTLESNAKE EGGS

Found at:

Dut to hatch: March 31,2006

 

Cut off a piece of coat hanger about 6-8 inches long. Bend it into the shape of a horseshoe with a hook on either end.

 

Get a large fender washer and two strong rubber bands. Tie the washer between the hooks of the wire horseshoe using the rubber band.

 

Wind up your little contraption by spinning the washer a few dozen times. Carefully place it inside the envelope and close it. (Manilla envelopes usually have a metal clasp.) Fold the envelope if necessary to prevent the washer from unwinding inside the envelope, prematurely.

 

Place your contraption in a location where it will be found by a likely victim. When they pick it up and open the envelope to investigate, they will open it and release the contraption inside. The washer will spin against the sides of the envelope and make a loud rattling noise.

 

Your victim will almost certainly jump through the roof!

 

You know your joke is a success when your victim responds, "That was TERRIBLE!! How DARE you!!... Let's go do it to somebody ELSE!!"

 

I set this up yesterday at work but I don't know if anybody picked it up. I have seen this joke lay in wait several days before it gets a "hit". I'll probably go to work tomorrow and catch hell from somebody!

 

Oh... Just a side note. Rattlesnakes are ovoviviparous. That means that they don't lay eggs. The young hatch inside the mother and are born live.

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