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A Few More Jokes ...


JGalanos
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My friend adopted a stray cat and took it to the vet to be neutered. "I'm about 90% sure he's been fixed," the vet said. "How can I be 100% sure?," she asked. "Watch to see if he does any 'male' things," the vet replied. "He already lies on the couch all day," she said. "If he starts hogging the remote, I'll bring him in."

 

 

The government will be requiring new food labels that are more specific. Products will now be labeled "no fat," "low fat," "reduced fat," and "fat, but great personality."

 

 

After happily dating her boyfriend for almost five years, the woman thought she had been extremely patient waiting for him to propose. One night, they ordered take out Chinese food. Her boyfriend asked "So how do you want your rice - plain or fried?" "Since you asked," she said, seeing her chance, "thrown."

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How many rocket scientists does it take to change a light bulb?

 

 

 

One. It's changing a light bulb, not rocket science.

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Zat why I'm single? I don't HAVE a TV. So I can't hog the couch AND the remote. In my shack it's not even a couch, it's a friggin' futon. So I just don't act MASCULINE enough. Here I thought it was cause I was this furweirdo!

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