Hello Operator Funnies . . .

[ReFur]

Actual call center conversations! (Lord, of course I have no idea if these are true. But, ...I do know they are funny!! Linda)

 

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Customer: "I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through; can you help?"

 

Operator: "Where did you get that number, sir?"

 

Customer: "It's on the door of your business."

 

Operator: "Sir, those are the hours that we are open."

 

 

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Samsung Electronics

 

Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"

 

Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about."

 

Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"

 

Operator: "I think it means the telephone plug on the wall."

 

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RAC Motoring Services

 

Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am traveling in Australia?"

 

Operator: "Does the product name give you a clue?"

 

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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe)

"If I register my car in France, and then take it to England, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"

 

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Directory Enquiries

 

Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please"

 

Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?"

 

Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off."

 

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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.

 

Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"

 

Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland."

 

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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on."

 

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Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."

 

Customer: "OK."

 

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

 

Customer: "No."

 

Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

 

Customer: "No."

 

Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"

 

Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."

 

 

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Tech Support: "OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"

 

Customer: "Wow! How can you see my screen from there?"

 

 

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Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?"

 

 

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This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause."

 

 

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.

(Now I know why they record these conversations!):

 

Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"

 

Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

 

Operator: "What sort of trouble??"

 

Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

 

Operator: "Went away?"

 

Caller: "They disappeared."

 

Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

 

Caller: "Nothing."

 

Operator: "Nothing??"

 

Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

 

Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"

 

Caller: "How do I tell?"

 

Operator: "Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen??"

 

Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"

 

Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

 

Caller: "There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

 

Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"

 

Caller: "What's a monitor?"

 

Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"

 

Caller: "I don't know."

 

Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"

 

Caller: "Yes, I think so."

 

Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.

 

Caller: "Yes, it is."

 

Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"

 

Caller: "No."

 

Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

 

Caller: "Okay, here it is."

 

Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

 

Caller: "I can't reach."

 

Operator: "OK. Well, can you see if it is??"

Caller: "No."

 

Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"

 

Caller: "Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark."

 

Operator: "Dark??"

 

Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

 

Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."

 

Caller: "I can't."

 

Operator: "No? Why not??"

 

Caller: "Because there's a power failure."

 

Operator: "A power .... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in??"

 

Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

 

Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

 

Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"

 

Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

 

Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"

 

Operator: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!!!"

 

 

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If this one is true, it must be very old when he ask about a dos prompt. Linda