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Things that make you go HMMMM?????


wallee
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Can you cry under water?

 

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

 

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"?

 

Where's that extra penny going to?

 

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

 

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

 

What disease did cured ham actually have?

 

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

 

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?

 

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

 

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

 

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

 

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?

 

They're going to see you naked anyway.

 

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

 

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

 

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

 

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

 

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

 

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

 

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

 

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

 

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

YES !!!

 

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

 

Did you just try singing the two songs above?

 

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

 

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

 

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  • Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?
     
  • Why to they call it a "building" when it's already been built? Shouldn't it be called a "built"?
     
  • Why does cargo come on a ship but shipments come on a truck?
     
  • Why do we drive our cars on parkways but park them in driveways?
     
  • And, while I'm at it, what's all the fuss about crotchless pantyhose? Aren't they really just SOCKS?
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Wallee,

 

The US dollar is currently trading above two dollars to the UK pound sterling - so US readers should be giving more than their two cents to match my thoughts.

 

And surely we all know who wrote Twinkle Twinkle Little Star - don't we?

 

Regards,

Mr Mockle

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Don't forget: "Twinkle, Twinkle..." is the same as the "Alphabet Song" but it is also the same tune as "Baa, Baa Black Sheep (Have You Any Wool?)"

 

But, No. Mozart DID NOT write the song.

 

The original song comes from the French nursery rhyme, "Ah ! vous dirai-je, Maman"

 

French lyrics:

 

Ah! vous dirai-je, Maman,

Ce qui cause mon tourment.

Papa veut que je raisonne,

Comme une grande personne.

Moi, je dis que les bonbons

Valent mieux que la raison.

 

 

English translation:

 

Ah! I shall tell you, mum,

what causes my torment.

Papa wants me to reason

Like an adult.

I say that candy

Is better than reason.

 

Oh! What a font of useless knowledge Wikipedia is!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twinkle_twinkle_little_star

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Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

 

Hmmm ... Never thought of that ... Looks like one more reason to be buried in fisher. 8)

 

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

 

I think wheels on luggage ranks up there with sliced bread on the innovation scale.

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Wheels on luggage: actually in the USA, I can see why that would have become more obvious once the Americans With Disabilities Act started requiring accessibility with wheelchairs and other wheeled personal mobility devices. If you have to pick up the suitcase every time you come to a curb, there's that much less incentive to wheel it around. But given the wheelchair ramp ....

 

I always laughed at those classroom posters, the ones that at the bottom said something like "SEVERE CLAUSE" and then a detailing of the pupil's purgatory for having exhausted all the other steps applied to naughty children. That thing about severe clause sounded to me like a stop sign that had a bigger sign above it saying STOP SIGN and an arrow pointing down at the red octagon. It also painted a mental picture as if Severe Clause was actually a Severe Claus. No! No fur for you you naughty, naughty mischief. Go lie on a bed of nails this Christmas Eve!

 

Okay, I'll behave!

 

frugalfurguy

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