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Three Wishes (joke)


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A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball

into the woods.


She went into the woods to look for it and found a

frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me

from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."


The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank

you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition

to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband

will get times ten!" The woman said, "That's okay."


For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful

woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize

that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome

man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to."

The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most

beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me."


So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful woman in the world!


For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in

the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the

richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than

you." The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is

his and what's his is mine."


So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!


The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered,

"I'd like a mild heart attack."


Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.


Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you.

Stop here and continue feeling good.


Male readers only.....please scroll down.








The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.


Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think

they're really smart. Let them continue to think that way

and just enjoy the show.


PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes

to show that women never listen!!!

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Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check."


"Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog Spike. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!" "I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!"


When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he

discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he had ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.


The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant

yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain

himself any longer and yelled,


"Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"


To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"






See, men just don't listen !

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A guy walks into a bar and strolls up to the beertender and orders a drink.


The barman couldn't help noticing that the guy had the body of a wrestler but his head was about the size of a baseball!


"So, what happened to you?" he asks the guy. "You've got a normal sized body but a head so small I can hardly see your face!"


The man explains.


"One day I was walking down the beach. I found a bottle washed up on shore and I opened it. Out came a genie!"


He looks at the bartender and winks. "A FEMALE genie!"

"She was the most beautiful woman I ever saw!" he smiles.


"When she offered me a wish I asked to have sex with her. But she refused."


"Genies are not allowed to have sex with humans!" she said. "Besides! I'm only smoke from the waist down.!"


"I tried and tried to get her in the sack but she steadfastly refused." said the guy.


The guy thought for a minute then he got an idea!



"How about a little head?"


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