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Top Ten President Bush Global Warming Solutions


10. Instead of "Partly sunny," have weatherman say "Partly cloudy"


9. Stop using Air Force One for Texas barbecue runs


8. Replace dangerous CO2 in the atmosphere with more eco-friendly CO1


7. Encourage people to walk more by distributing free Dr. Scholl massaging gel inserts. Are you gellin'?


6. Watch Al Gore movie one of these nights instead of "Dukes of Hazzard"


5. Bob Barker's free. Get him workin' on it


4. Send more troops to Iraq


3. I dunno, tax cuts for the rich?


2, Reduce hot air emissions by shutting down fox news


1. Resign



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Top Ten Ways George W. Bush Can Boost His Popularity


10. Hang Saddam again


9. Improve focus by removing Playstation 3 from Oval Office


8. Develop steamy "Will they or won't they?" relationship with Nancy Pelosi


7. Make people believe there's a waffle shortage; then when people see waffles in the supermarket, he'll be a hero!


6. Turn weekly radio address into wacky morning zoo


5. Redecorate Oval Office to look like the set of "The View"-- People love "The View"!


4. Resign


3. Covene blue ribbon panel to find out what the hell is wrong with Paula Abdul


2. Nail a heavyset intern


1. Deploy 20,000 troops to put underpants on Britney Spears


11. Get Nichole Richie in trouble with the law, so she draws attention away, like Paris Hilton.

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