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Blonde GUY joke ....


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One of my friends emailed this to me today. Thought everyone but Lord might enough it. 8) (Lord, I am pulling your leg!)

 

An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

 

They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."

 

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get Burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

 

The blonde opened his lunch and said, " Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."

 

The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.

 

 

The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a Burritos, and jumped, too

 

The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.

 

At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"

 

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated Burritos so much."

 

 

(Oh this is GOOD!!)?

 

 

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said,

 

 

"Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch"

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Good evening. I am the administrator for the Institute of Political Correct Monitoring on the Internet (IPCMI).

Do not panic.

Your forum has been noted as one where certain individuals have been seen to be coming pretty close to the mark with jokes that one could consider as perhaps offensive to certain peoples. However until now we have let the matters go.

 

Until now.

This works as a three strikes and you are out. It does not affect the forum; but the members posting will have three chances before they will receive a call from us requesting they attend a re edcuation class.

 

The member known as Lord theKnightNight now has one strike for offensive use.

 

May I draw all your attentions to the Latest research and advice commissioned at the vast expense of taxpayers money by President Blair...er I mean Her Majesty's Government. This will become law under the new Administration of Fuehrer gordon Brown and it will be imposed world wide in accordance with his ambitions for the New World Order.

 

http://policies.salford.ac.uk/display.php?id=186

 

The word "dumb" in a joke will be an arrestable offence. The word "dumb" was considered appropriate for use only when in relation to people who could neither hear or speak. We did call them "hearing and speech challenged" for a while but now that is politically incorrect so we haven't got a word for them but dumb is offensive; as it means mute.

 

Thankyou for your co operation in making the world a wonderfully politically correct place .

 

What's all this fur stuff?

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The word "dumb" in a joke will be an arrestable offence. The word "dumb" was considered appropriate for use only when in relation to people who could neither hear or speak. We did call them "hearing and speech challenged" for a while but now that is politically incorrect so we haven't got a word for them but dumb is offensive; as it means mute.

 

Actually you are wrong in you politcal correctness account. It is not "hearing and speech" challenged its awereally challenged, a variation on orally and aurally, and pronounced AWEREALLY!!!

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Ohreally?

 

That would be the Canadian spelling, cos they don't speak proper english like what us from the yookay does

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Nah nah nah

 

For a proper Dumb joke it has to start with .. "Two blonde Borg go into a bar ......

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

OFF

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Tryxie is Borg too.

 

I bet her bod is as good as Sevens.

 

Yep I knew there was another word for it Tryxie but couldn't remember what it was.

 

But that deaf dumb and blind kid sure played a mean pin ball.

 

Aboot time we had a go at Canadians round here now

 

 

Two Canadians walk into a bar and ask for directions to a Hunting Lodge. The barman asks them to ask the mountie in the corner for directions. They do so, and the mountie thinks for a minute , then says:

"Nope; no idea; now where the fook's 'at?"

 

The two men look at him and point to their headgear:

"What's wrong with raccoon?" they say in unison.

 

I know Tryxie has a soft spot for mounties.

 

ps OFF the Borg's hair falls out as hair is traditionally a symbol of freedom and bald obedience (hence buddhism, monks, skinheads etc) to a set of beliefs; code etc. And that is explained by the fact that their hair..and parts of their body, are in fact dead....so their hair falls out as it is not needed. Therefore they cannot be blonde.They are as automated zombies ("p" zombies of course Lord...see wikipedia)

 

Right now anyone now any baldy jokes?

 

PS worker how do you say:

"Resistance is futile; prepare to be assimilated" in latin?

Edited by Guest
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A redneck walks up to the sales counter at a lumber yard.

 

He says to the clerk, "I need to buy some FOUR-BY-TWOs."

 

The clerk says, "You mean TWO-BY-FOURs. Don't you?"

 

The redneck says, "Let me go ask Pa. He's out in the truck."

 

Several minutes later, the redneck returns and says, "Okay. We can use TWO-BY-FOURS."

 

"How long do you want them?", the clerk asks.

 

"Let me go ask Pa." He is gone for a several more minutes.

 

When he finally returns, he says:

 

"We're going to need them for quite a while because we're fixin' to build us a house!"

 

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A "Hoose" do you mean? It rhymes with mouse ; loose; aboot; this hoose.

 

They must have been canadian rednecks.

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O Canada!

Our home and native land!

True patriot love in all thy sons command.

 

With glowing hearts we see thee rise,

The True North strong and free!

 

From far and wide,

O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

 

God keep our land glorious and free !

O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

 

O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

 

 

 

Fine words till they banned smoking.

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I used to be a lifeguard on the beaches of Lake Erie, just 35 miles south of the Canadian border.

 

When we got a bather who went out beyond the safety markers and got himself into trouble we'd have to swim out and tow him back to shore.

 

We called this the "O Canada!" rescue.

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