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Damn women drivers!!


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This morning on the interstate,


I looked over to my left and there was a Woman


In a brand new Cadillac


Doing 65 mph


With her Face up next to her


Rear view mirror


Putting on her eyeliner.



I looked away


For a couple seconds!


And when I looked back she was


Halfway over in my lane,


still working on that makeup.



As a man,


I don't scare easily.


But she scared me so much;


I dropped my electric shaver,


which knocked


The donut


Out of my other hand.


In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car



Using my knees against


The steering wheel,


it knocked my cell phone


away from my ear


which fell into the coffee


between my legs,


splashed, and burned


Big Jim and the Twins,


ruined the damn phone,


soaked my trousers,


and disconnected an important call.


Damn women drivers!!


(BTW. My usual disclaimer for Lord: this is a joke email!)

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