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St Patrick's Day Humor


FrBrGr
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A huge hello from our dear old friend, raptinfurs, who wanted to share this St Patty's Day joke with you:

 

 

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to

spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!"

 

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best

toast of the night!

 

He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize

for the Best toast of the night"

 

She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"

John said," Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in

church beside me wife."

 

"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

 

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking

buddies on the street corner.

 

The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the

prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."

 

She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised

myself. You know, he's only been there

twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep,

and the other time I had to pull him by the

ears to make him come."

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According to a friend, this was witnessed at the end of a long day of celebration last year on St Patty's Day . . .

 

A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling back and forth. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches.

 

"Can I help you sir?"

 

"Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr," the man replies.

 

The cop asks, "Where was your car the last time you saw it?"

 

"It wasss on the end of thisshh key," the man replies.

 

About that time the cop looks down and sees the man's penis hanging

out of his fly for all the world to see.

 

He asks the man,"Sir, are you aware that you are exposing yourself?"

 

Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and without

missing a beat, blurts out........."Oh shit ----- My girlfriend's gone, too!!!!!"

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