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Daughter's use of a Mink Cape to Homecoming


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She's too young to wear the mink stole in public.


There is one reason for wearing furs that is never mentioned (so I won't mention it here) but almost every woman knows. And in Illinois, you have to be 19 for that.


Be sure to read the whole article so you won't be seen as a boor when you go out to dinner.



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Quoted from Belleville News - Democrat. Oct. 16, 2006:


Daughter should choose shawl over mink cape for homecoming

Q. I told my daughter that she is not only too young, but too unsophisticated to wear my mink fur cape to her high school homecoming. None of her girlfriends will be wearing one. I am certain the beautiful silk-ish shawl we found to match her dress will be just fine. She thinks I'm being unreasonable. Am I? Is it proper for her to wear mink at 16?


A. I agree with you. Unless you and your family are living in a level of society in which having a mink stole or coat at 16 is the norm, the shawl is the better choice. There is no doubt your daughter's homecoming is a special event, but wearing or not wearing mink should not be the key for having a wonderful time.


In my opinion, 16 year old girls aren't usually responsible enough to wear such a fine, expensive garment out by themselves.


I don't think it would be inappropriate for her to wear it. I just don't think she's fully aware of the value (monetary and sentimental) that items of this nature have to her parents. She'll plead and cry to get her way and she'll PROMISE that she'll take good care of it but you know damn well that fine fur is going to get draped over the back of a chair somewhere and dragged across a dirty floor, etc., etc., etc.


I see no reason why she can't wear it when there are adults around who will keep an eye on her and help her when she needs it. (e.g.: When she gets too hot, wearing it, her mom or dad will remind her to take it to the coat room and not leave it lay.


There are just too many people who would steal it or damage it or God knows what.


When the girl is old enough, maybe she can wear it for some other special event. It'd be a GREAT accent for her high school senior portrait or to wear to the senior prom, etc. But, for a high school freshman/sophomore to wear it out to the homecoming dance? No.


Of course, there ARE those teenagers who are extrordinarily responsible young adults. If she's one of those kind of kids it MIGHT be okay. But if this isn't one of those rare circumstances, she's better off wearing the regular shawl.


On the other hand, if there is some special family event like a wedding or a formal gathering, maybe the parents could let her wear it there. Then, if the girl seems to handle the responsibility, maybe she CAN wear the fur to homecoming.




P.S.: If it please the court, may I respectfully request that we establish a rule.


When referencing an article or a page outside of The Fur Den, the original author should quote that page in his first post or, at least, provide a synopsis.


1) If a link goes dead, the original text upon which the forum thread's continuity depends will be preserved.


2) Many people can not or will not click on links to outside sites, thus they don't know what the rest are talking about.


Thank you.


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Everyone's made good points.


1.) Even if she's going to take care of it, who's to say her classmates are going to be so accomodating?


2.) Mink at a dance full of 16 year olds? Why not give them all firecrackers too, and hope they'll use them responsibly? Or arm monkeys with chainsaws.


3.) Let's be honest here, again. Patience is right, it's like the stole is going to keeping her back warm while she's got her legs around her head on the hood or back seat of a car. Sorry I'm so graphic. No coffee yet.


I was sixteen once too, and my idea of responsibility was a hell of a lot different than it is now. Of course, I didn't wear any mink stoles then either, and I sure as hell didn't go to many dances.


As for my deserts, I'll just hold them up to my face and serve myself from there and if my food ever comes in separate bowls I'll likely dump the contents of my various bowls onto my plate. Unless of course one of the bowls has soup in it.


Am I boorish? Yes.


My idea of polite dinner conversation simply excludes belching and includes whatever else that comes to mind.


I suppose I'll never dine with the Queen now.

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I guess I have a different take on this.


How old is the piece? A vintage mink stole is worth almost nothing. Now if this is a $3000 piece, I agree.


Plus, vintage is very much "in" (it still is isn't it? where I live I never know except on the ski slope end of it!)



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Even if it's vintage and worth little, in terms of monetary value, I would still hesitate to let a person so young take it out, unsupervised.


I would allow her to wear it for special family occasions where she'll be around people who can watch out for her. If/when she shows enough responsibiltiy I might let her take it out by herself.


Yes, a teenager's ability to take care of important/valuable things (even if the value is only semtimental) is foremost in my mind but there are other considerations.


There's no way to say this politely but to simply say it: Young girls wearing fur coats in public are bound to attract a few creeps!


Is a 16 year old high school girl capable of fending off encounters from predatory people she might meet? And, what about any potential anti-fur whackos she might run into?


By the time she gets to be a high school senior and is ready to move on to college/university, she'll probably be more able to understand those problems and handle them better. When confronted with an unsavory person, a young girl isn't likely to have the mental "fortitude" to take care of herself. (e.g.: Pick up her cell phone and call 9-1-1... Give her attacker a face full of mace... etc, etc.) When she grows up, into an emerging adult, she'll be able to make those kinds of decisions by herself.


Again, I have no problem with a 16 year old wearing fur, even with the sexual connotations that her desire to wear fur brings up. (She's 16. She's at that age where she's going to start having sex whether her parents like it or not.)


So, I think she should be allowed to wear fur in supervised situations until her parents are sure she can handle the many responsibilities wearing fur brings:


1) Can she take care of the fur?


2) Does she know how to act like a lady in public while wearing fur?


3) Can she defend herself, reasonably well, in any potentially harmful situation she might find herself in due to the fur she's wearing?


Unless she's an unusually mature 16 year old, I say the answer is, "No.", to all three questions.

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My view is a bit different. In the seventies and eighties lots of girls that age wore fur in the UK. LOTS.

Now I am seeing the emo gilrs wearing it. I don't find young girls in fur attractive because they haven't usually got the class/elegance to carry it off well. BUT it is a good sign of the younger generation starting to assert themselves over PETA pc bullshit.

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American girls (kids, in general) don't mature at the same rate as English and European girls.


American families seem to want to force their kids to grow up faster, whereas Brits and Europeans let their kids stay younger, longer. The upshot of this is that there is a reverse effect on the child's growth rate in terms of maturity.


Children who are allowed to stay "young" longer and play as children should mature at a faster rate.


American children, although older, are not necessarily as mature and responsible as their European counterparts. They are also less able to handle troublesome situations.


So, in England, I agree with ToS. A girl should be able to wear fur if she wants because she is more likely to be able to handle the responsibility. But, in my estimation, many 16/17 year old kids from England and Europe are about as mature as an 18/19 year old American kid.


Not only are kids with that kind of maturity more responsible, they are more able to make informed decisions by themselves and not be swayed by pressure from the likes of those PeTA-Whackos.

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When I was a senior in college - age 21, 22 - my then girlfriend wanted to wear her mom's mink coat to homecoming. She was about a year younger than I, and her mom still refused. In retrospect, that was probably a good thing (for mom and her coat) anyway!



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She has to learn to be responsible. And a high school homecoming might be the wrong place to start learning.

She has to learn wearing furs. If she never wears any kind of fur, how can she get used to wear it in an elegant way and cope with the reactions of her friends et cetera.

So, let's give her a chance wearing fur.

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When I was a kid wearing fur even in Elementary School was no big deal.


It's only become a big deal because of PeTA PC crap.


I dated a girl in the 8th grade that wore Muton to school and a Rabbit jacket on a date with me. Sure fired up my fur fantasies but it wasn't out of kilter to do so at that time.





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A stole? Are those still around? She should take it to a furrier and have it made into a casual vest. Then wear it. What the heck.


Should be kept as a stole elfnum3. Stoles our still around, and even making a bit of a come back?


A fur stole, especially fox, worn around bare shoulders, is sooo sexy and will always catch the eye. It's nothing to do with fashion, more sugestability.

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A fur stole, worn around the shoulders, moves differently than a coat does.


A coat moves with the wearer, almost as if it is part of them. A stole moves in a coordinated fashion, not necessarily WITH the wearer but in HARMONY with the wearer.


The stole moves up and down, back and forth and wraps around the wearer, sometimes in the same direction, sometimes opposite but always in synchronization with the wearer.


It's almost as if there are two beings, living in symbiosis with each other.


This slow, sensual dance between fur and wearer is what makes it so much fun to watch somebody wear a fur stole as opposed to a coat.


A 16 year old girl is just too young to be pulling off these kinds of moves in public, either aware or naive. She's bound to attract trouble of one kind or another. In a couple more years, when she's more mature, I'd give the go-ahead. But not now.

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I was looking for somewhere to post this link and thought the obvious place would be the Pub, but the I remembered this topic and is a weird way the two do sorta go together. Read it and the light may dawn:




I am not going to argue the pros and cons, but it does make for interesting and thoughtful contemplation. IS also a rather interesting juxtaposition.

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  • 3 years later...

Cheap Prom Dresses dress is not excessively sparkly or patterned to give it more of a red-carpet feel. The entire dress with the bows are the same color, cobalt blue. The dress is ankle to floor length and the criss-cross on the chest area ties around to become the bow in the back.


NOTE By White Fox...


Please do not post off topic posts. We do not allow them on this forum. Links here MUST be on the topic of Fur.



White Fox


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Looks like someone ignited an old thread. But really interesting to read back on none the less, just wish I could read the original link.


I can remember pestering my Mum for a leather jacket when I was young. Mum was a seamstress and always knew where to find the right materials at a good price, so I had my black leather (and black denem) jacket - it was the coolest thing ever - but one night at a party it went missing. It wasen't worth any great amount of money (as Mum always finds a bargin) but it ment so much to me.


I think it was the last piece of clothing I've ever 'lost', and I'm always very carefull when around people I don't know. I'm sure this young girl would have learnt a lot from having her mom's fur taken.


Kids have got to experiance loss to appriciate what they have and realise they have to work hard to keep what is theirs.

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It's Prom season in many parts of the USA now. I was at a high school prom the other night. Not my prom, my prom was many, many years ago. I did see one girl arriving with a mink stole. That stole was one of her other friends when they left.

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When I think back to my daughter when she was 16, she certainly wasn't mature enough to wear fur. I doubt that many 16-year olds would be.


As others have said, I would also be very concerned about how well the fur was treated while out of my sight. And what's the purpose? To show off? To one up a friend?


It would be one thing if the young woman had her own fur, or had proven under supervised conditions that she had the maturity to care for a fur while it in public. This doesn't sound like the case.

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Ha! Don't lend your daughter a mink for the prom unless you like the idea of her getting her cherry popped right on top of your fur coat.

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