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Fur Lover Shy about Outing Self


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It's not like I just discovered I'm a fur lover. When I first had a notion that fur had a peculiar effect on me, I had no names for what it did, just that it felt good. At the same time I was learning to be ashamed of that good feeling. I've carried that shame with me for some four decades of my life, and hating myself for loving fur has left me in some rather wretched situations. I'm working at changing. I'm learning to accept and love myself.


I used to wake up from bad dreams of getting "caught" shopping for fur coats. I grew up believing that my fascination with fur made me unworthy of my masculinity. Most of my life I tried to pretend I was going to strangle it, and that seemed the only path to living a worthwhile life. After lots of therapy, here I am.


There were some times when shyly I bought rabbit coats at thrift stores. Most of the time, I would in one way or the other get rid of it within a week or a month. I was just too ashamed of it. Well, the last time I bought one it was already torn a couple places, so I didn't expect it to last through much loving. But I kept it until finally I had to declare it worn out. I stitched a pillow out of the liner and used the shredded pelts for stuffing. It's a wonderful pillow.


Now I'm thinking about replacing that coat, and I'd like something that sheds less and lasts longer. Maybe nutria, muskrat, or raccoon. I don't want to shop for it in the little city I live in, because I don't want to out myself to people who might know me but not well enough to know about this private hankering. At the same time, I've been reluctant to use my eBay id to buy furs there. So I'm thinking of an expedition to a neighboring city where I'll feel much less likely to encounter someone that knows me while I shop.


It took a lot of courage for me to phone one of the consignment stores up there and ask them for recommendations about where'd be the best place to shop for used fur coats, but I've done it.


Anyone else here have such a rough time of it?


Thanks so much for reading and your support!



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Unfortunately your case is not unique. If you take the time to read through the back files of posts made here and when we were at Melody you'll find posts by myself and others expressing similar feelings and actions we've had in the past.


It's nice to see you here and I hope the experiences and opportunities will help you to come to terms. It certainly has been so for me.






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Hey, frugalfurguy!


Welcome to the Den!


I know it can be scarry when you first admit your attraction to fur but you'll feel more comforatable after a while.


IMHO, the first thing you have to learn is that you don't need to explain yourself to ANYBODY. You like fur. So what? If other people don't like it they can take a flying leap!


You don't need a reason to love fur. You don't need anybody's permission. You like fur. It's as simple as that! Why is liking fur any different than liking anything else?


I really love to eat licorice flavored candy. Black jelly beans. Licorice whips. Licorice gum. I love to drink coffee with anise flavoring in it. I love to drink ouzo. (But not so much I get too drunk.)


I don't need to explain why I love to eat licorice. I just do! Why is loving to touch fur any different than loving to eat licorice? (Logically speaking.)


So, I like fur. You gotta' freakin' problem wit' dat?!


As long as you're not hurting anybody, there's no reason in the world that you shouldn't be allowed to love fur as much as you want!

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Welcome frugalfurguy! As has been said by others, we've all been in the same or similar position in our lives. Enjoy fur! Wear it often - just remember that some of us live in places where we don't get the opportunity to wear fur as much as others do.


My advice - maybe get a few inexpensive pieces for 'play' around the house, but look for a really nice fur-lined leather jacket for daily wear in the winter. Trust me, no one will make any untoward remarks - you find that probably just the opposite is true!



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First of all, FFG, I want to welcome you to The Fur Den!!!


I have been in the internet fur community now for about 14 years, and I have heard your story literally hundreds of times. Now, please don't misunderstand - I am not minimizing your feelings in any way! Quite the contrary. It gives your story a great deal of validity. I felt the same way, my friend, as I think the majority of us have felt.


I have come a long, long way in those 14 years - from the day when I very nervously emailed the owner of The Fur Club, the only online fur group on the internet at the time, when I openly shared my love of fur to someone else for the first time - to today, when I express my love for fur to just about anyone who cares to listen. I wear fur to work, and I even have a screen saver slide show on my desktop (at work) of my favorite fur pictures. I think everyone in my office has seen the slide show, and as far as I can tell, I still demand the same respect now from my colleagues as I did before I shyly came "out of the closet." Of course, no one knows that I am a fur fetishist, but then I don't share with anyone what goes on in my bedroom with my wife. Why should fur be any different . . . ?


I'll never forget what MinkMan told me then, and I will pass it on to you now. It's OK! Just as simple as that - It's OK! And why shouldn't you - Why shouldn't all of us love fur? It's beautiful, it's soft, it's warm; I tell everyone that I think it exponentially enhances the femininity of a woman. I have been struck by the number of men with whom I have shared my slide show who have agreed with me on that last point - especially when one of the more erotic pictures comes onscreen! I hear things like, "Oh, my God," and "Wow!" I have also found that almost everyone will acknowledge the magical sensuality of fur.


You are embarrassed because you are self-conscious about the fact that you love to have sex with fur. Any other person who never even thought about having fur sex would not be embarrassed to tell anyone that he (or she) liked fur. That same person wouldn't be afraid to wear a fur coat. That same person would proudly show off a fur throw or a fur rug or a fur blanket in his or her home. Your problem, which is shared by every fur fetishist on the planet, is that you think that if you express an affinity to fur, everyone will therefore believe that you are having sex with it. That is not the case! And the quicker you get that out of your mind, the better off you will be! If someone is so bold as to ask you about having sex with fur, then turn the tables by saying something like "Why, I have never thought about that! Why? Have you done that?" If they say yes, then, hey! Recommend The Fur Den to him, or if it's a her - Get to know that woman better! 8) As for the other people - Don't worry about it. They have more important things on their mind than to stress out about your masturbation techniques. People just don't go around thinking about things like that!


As for where to get fur, well, I have about 100 items in my fur collection, ranging from fur mittens, boas and hats to jackets and full-length coats. I have bought the majority of them on eBay. With my eBay ID. Why not? First of all, I can't think of anyone who even knows I shop on eBay, much less anyone who knows my ID. (I am willing to bet that not one single member of The Fur Den even knows my eBay ID!) And eBay sellers aren't that interested in what you've bought in the past; they're more interested in if you have positive feedback. I have been buying furs on eBay for almost ten years, and only once has a seller noticed that I buy a lot of fur. My explanation? I am a hobbyist who makes pillows, throws and other home accessories from used fur coats. So what? My biggest problem has been in where to ship the fur. "The Duchess" (my wife) knows all about my fetish and is even tolerant with it; she just goes nuts when she thinks I'm buying too much fur . . .


Anyway, you've come to the right place to share your thoughts, your feelings and your experiences with fur. Ours is a wonderfully warm and accepting community. I hope your stay here will be long and enjoyable, and I hope you will contribute often!


Again, welcome!!

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