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Another cute email to share


ReFur
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THEY WALK AMONG US

 

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it".

 

For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal.

It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge

for sale $50".

 

The next day someone stole it.

Caution ... They Walk Among Us

 

 

 

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which

direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.

 

She asked, "Does the sun rise in the North?"

 

When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, and has for

sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that

stuff."

 

... They Walk Among Us!

 

 

 

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center.

 

One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open.

 

I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week."

 

He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?"

 

Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific" . .

... They Walk Among Us!

 

 

 

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving". . . .

. . . They Walk Among Us!

 

 

 

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped.

 

She keeps it in the trunk. .

... They Walk Among Us!

 

 

 

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were

discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.

... They Walk Among Us!

 

 

 

I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring

attached to an earring by a chain.

 

My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her

head?"

 

I explained that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart

no matter which way the head is turned. . . . . . .

... They Walk Among Us!

 

 

 

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the

lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up.

 

She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands.

 

"Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet? " . . .

.... They Walk Among Us!

 

 

 

While working at a Pizza Parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza

to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6.

 

He thought about it for some time before responding.

 

"Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces."

 

.... Yep, They Walk Among Us, too.

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I have actually received a call that went like this:

 

 

ME: Thank you for calling Cinema Googolplex. R**** speaking. How may I help you?

 

SHE: What time does the 7:30 movie start?

 

ME: Ummm... 7:30 P.M., ma'am...

 

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Stupid things...

That first one reminded me of one. I used to install Satellite equipment. Of course it cannot "See" through a house.

 

The fellow lived down a lane with some twists in it. While setting up digging the hole for cement, I casually asked what direction the road went with regards to the house. I was rather surprised at the answer. Due to electrical wires I could not check it with our compass. Went ahead and dug the hole. Poured the cement. And of course a week later, tore it all back down again when I found the house was set in the direction I thought it was at first. 90 degrees to what he told me it was.

 

I was as stipid as he was for actually not checking it out myself but listening to the owner instead. Yes the compass would not work but at least I could have looked at the darned sun! Never thought of that!

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Linda,

 

I've heard of something almost exactly like that first story happening to a teachers friend. He had an old couch that he wanted to get rid of and didn't think it was of much value, so he just put it on the curb with a "free" sign on it. For days nobody touched, and for days it stood there on the curb. After a suggestion from a friend, he put a sign on it that said "$20" or something like that. The next day it was gone.

Edited by Guest
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In grade school I had a friend who always seemed to have money and not because his family was rich. He wasn't the smartest guy on the block either.

 

He was always picking up stuff in different ways, turning around and selling it.

 

I askes him, "You only sell those things for two or three cents. How do you make any money that way?"

 

"I buy it for a penny and sell it for two. I take my two percent profit and I'm happy."

 

 

OFF

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There is a story here about a furrier who asigned to a broker to buy for him some pelts on the Finnish Fur Sales auction. The furrier travelled with him to watch and chose the pelts he really wanted.

 

When the day of the auction arrived, the broker knew which exact lots to bid for. The bidding was brutal. Everytime he increased his bid someone else made a better offer. This thing continued for a long time.

So the broker pissed off by the guy that was bidding on his items all the time turns his head in anger to see who is he that wanted badly the exact same pelts. In his surprise, he saw that it was the furrier he worked for!! The furrier waved at him and said : "come on, don't stop, lets make our pelts more valueable!!!"

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Back in about 1979 i was discussing Top of The Pops (a music chart show) that had been on the previous evening; the conversation went something like this:

 

Did you see Syreeta?

 

God yes isn't she rough (ugly)?

 

She used to be married to Stevie Wonder

 

God, he must be blind!

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This thread reminds me fo US comedian BIll Engvall and his bit - "Here's your Sign". Anyway, i kinda got one..

 

A couple of days ago i had a headache, and i went to the cabinet to get some soluble tablets. My mum notices i'm grabbing that tablets and asks "You got a headache?" To which i reply, "Nope, am taking a couple of these 'cause I love the taste so much!" I was so tempted to say "Here's your sign" at that point..

 

Unclejoe

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Ok i have one to confess

 

I was on the train up to London Charing Cross with the future mrs snowleopard (1 month 4 days to go) and we passed the millenium wheel.

 

Having passed the thing so many times. I wondered out loud 'how long has that thing been up now'

 

I should explain that over here we know it as the London Eye, but really there is no excuse

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Back in about 1979 i was discussing Top of The Pops (a music chart show) that had been on the previous evening; the conversation went something like this:

 

Did you see Syreeta?

 

God yes isn't she rough (ugly)?

 

She used to be married to Stevie Wonder

 

God, he must be blind!

 

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