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Confidence to Wear Fur Publicly (as a male)


a_man_of_many_foxes

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a_man_of_many_foxes

Hope everyone is doing well and enjoying some colder weather in your area. I wanted to ask y’all how to get the confidence to wear fur publicly. I have done so on one occasion and felt like I was being stared at the entire time. I do not know why I care about others opinions of me. I know I shouldn’t, but I just want to get confidence to be able to wear my favorite coat in public. It’s not even much of a fashion statement. It’s just a light weight modest brown mink coat that I think goes well with a lot of things I wear. Maybe y’all could chime in with your thoughts or your first time wearing coats. Or even just something to help me get the confidence of not caring what others think of me. Any help is appreciated 🙂

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I only started doing so this year, and it's still kind of stressful. Here was what worked for me:

- Make it work in an outfit you think looks good. The kind of confidence that goes with wearing anything else you really like.

- Send pictures and get feedback from friend(s) who you can be sure will give positive feedback, even if they've never seen you in fur before.

- Remember that no one cares about it as much as you do. The few comments you'll receive are likely to be compliments, and most people are polite enough to keep judgement to themselves.

Side note, if you're in a place that celebrates Halloween, it's a free pass to wear furs for your costume. Today is my third time being macklemore. Good excuse to wear my lynx 😉

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I've been wearing fur in public for the last 10 years. Its gotten to the point where I've turned my back on synthetic jackets almost completely. so now when the temp drops to the mid to low 30s  (Fahrenheit) or even a brisk 40's, I put on one of my furs.

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Zaphod_bee

As mentioned in some threads already - fur is for most people just the thing to wear and not the fetish thing we gain lust of. Having that in mind (or better not in mind 🙂 ) you should wear a fur you are comfortable with and in an environment which is not frightening you (in terms of "beeing seen").

I started with just a small portion of fur - a plucked nutria leather jacket with inside fur. If you have a style of an "everyday fur" this is of course much easier. I would still lack the confident to wear a big fox out (though I would like to have one and also would like to wear it ouside in the cold 🙂 )

Hope that helps !

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Hmm, I'm in exactly the same position myself!  I wonder if you've read my postings under 'I need help wearing a fur coat?'  As a male who has always loved fur, I have long since wanted to wear real fur in public.  I've got as far as wearing a beautiful sable scarf in public but a full length mink is a much greater step.  To this end, I bought a gorgeous mink in the summer, had it cleaned and re-lined and am now awaiting the opportunity to wear it in appropriate weather.  

The weather where I live is wet and damp so it could be some time before I have the conditions to take the plunge and get it out there.  I ALMOST wore it this morning since my wife and I went to meet my best friend in a shopping  centre, or Mall, today.  We meet in a Starbucks that's right at the main door and the draught is something else!  

However, I can't quite make the leap and I completely understand your hesitation. I'm now at an age where I shouldn't give a damn what anyone else thinks and I'm about 95% of the way there but still...

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I wear my full skin raccoon coat, a throw back to the 20's, to the local pub when it's cold.  At this point people expect me to be wearing it.  From my experience, wear your fur as if you've worn it forever.  It's a coat.  Wonderful....yes.  But it's a winter coat.  Celebrate the 'you being you' in those moments.  People are more concerned about the genuine person you are as opposed to the clothes you wear. Enjoy. And thanks for sharing.....

 

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43 minutes ago, Bfur said:

I wear my full skin raccoon coat, a throw back to the 20's, to the local pub when it's cold.  At this point people expect me to be wearing it.  From my experience, wear your fur as if you've worn it forever.  It's a coat.  Wonderful....yes.  But it's a winter coat.  Celebrate the 'you being you' in those moments.  People are more concerned about the genuine person you are as opposed to the clothes you wear. Enjoy. And thanks for sharing.....

 

Great advice!!  

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  • 4 weeks later...

I am in this position. I have some fur pieces I am confident enough to wear (a scarf, a gilet etc), but I have a 3/4 length mink I am more nervous of wearing though it is absolutely beautiful. 

It's usually not strangers I am particularly concerned about, but rather people who I may know, or work with. I don't know, I can't quite explain it, though it's likely a lot of my own fear and as has been wisely stated already in this thread, most people don't care at all. If anything, I would get compliments I am sure. 

This always leads me in the end to feel rather jealous of my partner who is able to wear her furs without much thought!

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Well, having taken the plunge, I find I'm now starting to forget I'm wearing mink.  Yes, I do get the occasional odd look but if 'they' don't like it they can just f**k off!   I told one friend I'd started wearing a full length mink in public and he simply replied 'enjoy it'.  

I have one or two other friends I'll need to tell, one of whom I know will laugh/ridicule/be generally unsupportive but the problem will be his - not mine.  I absolutely LOVE wearing the mink in public and honestly don't care about other people's opinion.  And it's unbelievably warm. 

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  • 4 weeks later...
a_man_of_many_foxes

So an update. I wore my mink fur coat for the first time in public in Chicago. Didn’t feel super confident but I think I’ll get there. Had a few looks but most people didn’t care! Luckily it was -4°F so it was the perfect time for it. I’m not sure why I care what others think, and I would say it’s mostly in my head. Maybe because it is something so dear to me. I am excited to be moving to Chicago where I will be able to wear fur more often. This is my coat I wore! 

61986781-568D-4452-A80A-EC37804DD147.png

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Worker 11811

That's a fine looking coat!  I think you look good wearing it.  :)

Me... my own personal style...  Because I'm heavier, I would wear a larger coat.  By that, I mean "bulkier."  More volume.  Being 6 ft. tall and weighing over 19 stone, I need something bigger to balance out my frame.

But, you, having a more slender build, I think that coat matches your frame.  I'm not sure... Can't quite tell from the picture...  I looks like you still have enough room to put on a sweater, underneath the coat, if you wanted to.

All that aside, I see no reason why you shouldn't wear a fur, outside, if you want to.  Hey!  It's still a free country, the last time I checked.  You can do what you want.  If other people don't like it, they can go fly a kite!

I think that this idea that "furs are for women" is a bunch of B.S!  Back in the pioneer days, MEN wore fur and women stayed at home, doing the cooking and cleaning.  (I don't necessarily agree with that but it's the way things were, back then.)  Anyhow, if men spent their days outdoors and women stayed at home, it would be the men who needed more protection from the cold.

I think that most social constructs like saying "Women wear fur" are stupid.  People should be able to wear what they want and do what they want as long as it doesn't hurt anybody else.

The fur looks good!  Go ahead and wear it if you want!  :)

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I've been wearing my mink coat for approximately six weeks now and my only regret is I wish I'd done it YEARS ago!  What I do find is that women love touching it and, occasionally, I'll let a woman try it on. Without exception, they love it!!   

The 'problems' I've had with wearing fur publicly have been in my own head. I'm sure at some point I'll be challenged but two words come to mind...

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16 hours ago, Worker 11811 said:

That's a fine looking coat!  I think you look good wearing it.  :)

Me... my own personal style...  Because I'm heavier, I would wear a larger coat.  By that, I mean "bulkier."  More volume.  Being 6 ft. tall and weighing over 19 stone, I need something bigger to balance out my frame.

But, you, having a more slender build, I think that coat matches your frame.  I'm not sure... Can't quite tell from the picture...  I looks like you still have enough room to put on a sweater, underneath the coat, if you wanted to.

All that aside, I see no reason why you shouldn't wear a fur, outside, if you want to.  Hey!  It's still a free country, the last time I checked.  You can do what you want.  If other people don't like it, they can go fly a kite!

I think that this idea that "furs are for women" is a bunch of B.S!  Back in the pioneer days, MEN wore fur and women stayed at home, doing the cooking and cleaning.  (I don't necessarily agree with that but it's the way things were, back then.)  Anyhow, if men spent their days outdoors and women stayed at home, it would be the men who needed more protection from the cold.

I think that most social constructs like saying "Women wear fur" are stupid.  People should be able to wear what they want and do what they want as long as it doesn't hurt anybody else.

The fur looks good!  Go ahead and wear it if you want!  :)

Extremely well put, sir! 

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20 hours ago, a_man_of_many_foxes said:

This is what it looks like on me! Don’t mind my wife’s childhood bedroom lol

4EAC2F0F-FC9F-4035-83BD-8E7F41DFF0DF.jpeg

What are you talking about?? The mink looks great on you..

Wear it out....I would if I had one like it....

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On 12/26/2020 at 6:54 PM, a_man_of_many_foxes said:

This is what it looks like on me! Don’t mind my wife’s childhood bedroom lol

4EAC2F0F-FC9F-4035-83BD-8E7F41DFF0DF.jpeg

This coat should definitly be fine on the street. Go out and enjoy!

I don't think most people can distinguish it from a faux fur.

I'm aware of people starring at men in fur coats. But this is more so valid for a heavy fur coat like a fox.

And there is a difference between a stare and a look. You might look at somebody because you are not used to something (like a man in soft coat) and afterwards rapidly continue. Or you might stare at somebody because you are deeply surprised or even shocked of something. I guess most people are in the former category. The latter is more valid if you wear the coat in an environment where you wouldn't expect it or if you meet an anti.

 

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I have started years ago wearing my B3 flight jacket (I know that many true fur lovers do not consider it as a real fur. I would oppose it in my opinion :)  there are jackets and parkas with a hooded and a fur trim too. I would say that is a good start for somebody who would like to wear furs in public. Another option is a fur lined parka, a longer parka with some shorter fur like rabbit, mink or opposum lining inside the coat and its hood, attach a big trim and it is spectacular. This is just a short step to a fur vest or a jacket :) 

pictures of me wearing my coyote fur vest (both sided)IMG_9012.thumb.JPG.937b605feb71fc6b4676308bf9e89375.JPG

IMG_9006.JPG

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  • 3 weeks later...
Norwegian lynx

I made a deal with myself to wear a fur in public this winter. I had actually planned on buying a mink bomber myself, but haven't managed to decide on the right one yet. Today I finally did it, and can't say I regret.

You noticed something on you first trip, that I realized a couple of years ago and that I only capitalized on now - people don't care! Everyone is to busy to care about themselves, to give 2  cents what you wear. And if as a rarity someone you meet should form a negative opinion; you'll never know, you'll never see them again, and they'll have moved on and forgotten in 5  minutes. 

I think that coat looks awesome on you, and seeing that picture actually sparked even more confidence wearing my own fur in public! And, I now realize i really need to get a mink or other short hair fur!

Keep on wearing it and you'll be more confident as you go. I'm sitting outside right now typing this from a bench in a snowy park where I live, wearing my coyote parka, sheepskin boots and sealskin and blue fox hat, and I feel great!

As for the people I met on my previous walk, everyone I caught looking my way I just met with a confident stare, and friendly smile. Some smiled back, some flinched by my gaze, looked down and moved on.20210114_142057.thumb.jpg.ab175c7068bc33f514a2129ba1dcca87.jpg

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