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The IM Tool


neoJaguar
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You might try using the "invisible" setting. I believe it might make you "invisible", but I might be going too far out on a limb here.

 

Best of luck.

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The IM Tool

 

I barely manage to get logged in before there is a rash of little boxes filling my screen asking do I own furs, do I wear them, what have I got, what is my favourite. Same questions same people. It makes a girl feel real special to know that you don't remember talking to her, and that your only interest in her is to satisfy your own sexual peccadilloes. Let me explain. I DON'T GIVE A SHIT. I'm not here to satisfy your needs, so don't ask.

 

If all you want to do is talk fetish, talk to someone else. I have a headache.

 

I 100% relate to this. I'd especially like to echo "I'm not here to satisfy your needs." The unwanted propositions, and the RELENTLESS questioning is why this community is a revolving door for women. We are real people, please respect that. This isn't a dating site, it's not a hookup app, it's a community built around a common interest. Here is a tip; if you wouldn't say it to your sister, please don't say it to me. At least not until we develop a rapport. A little mindfulness goes a long way.

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You might try using the "invisible" setting. I believe it might make you "invisible", but I might be going too far out on a limb here.

 

Best of luck.

 

Invis should work... If it doesn't let me know.

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Here is a tip; if you wouldn't say it to your sister, please don't say it to me. At least not until we develop a rapport. A little mindfulness goes a long way.

 

+1

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+1,000,000 what both Bernadette and Foxy have said.

 

I love meeting with a chatting with folk here but I truly can't stand those that are just plain neanderthals, have no respect for anyone and pounce on any poor unsuspecting female in the exact same manner a throng of seagulls attack a morsel of food thrown amongst them.

 

Ditto those who simply couldn't care less who they're talking to, so long as they get their rocks off - I guarantee no-one is here purely for the enjoyment of those egotists. If you also want to ask me the same crude question on 27 different occasions, I assure that you'll be ignored.

 

(...been wanting to get that off my chest for a while)

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Why not just have an "outage" page as a sticky where receivers of unwanted messages can just post the offending member's name (possibly with the offending message cut and pasted as well) so that they are exposed as perverts. After all, that is what they are.. If they came up to a girl in the street, a complete stranger, and said the same thing to her face, they would immediately be called a pervert, What is the difference when it is a printed word rather than the spoken word?

 

Would the people who post these posts like it if someone else wrote to their daughter/sister/wife/girlfriend in this way?

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I dont believe folk should have to switch to Invisible as after all the IM feature is there to be used by all.

 

I would favour a policy of a three strikes rule or some such for persistent pests as in any other walk of life you would be up on harassment charges for unacceptable behaviour. Perhaps the mods could act to enforce the rule for persistent misconduct rather than doing away with something that the majority will honour & act in good faith.

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Why not just have an "outage" page as a sticky where receivers of unwanted messages can just post the offending member's name (possibly with the offending message cut and pasted as well) so that they are exposed as perverts.
An idea with merit I will discuss it with neoJaguar and see what we can come up with.

 

As an alternative for the time being, you can report such abuse to the admins or mods via PM and we can issue a warning or take other action. If you do so, I recommend sending to multiple staff members as we cannot all be here every day. If unsure who the primary staff are, click on the "The team" link in the page header.

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I don't think publicly outing people is a good idea. The last thing we need around here is a witch hunt situation. Awareness is the best way. Failing that, the problem should be kept between the offending party and the staff.

 

 

Edit: Do we have a CoC here? It might be worth creating and/or updating it to include this issue.

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Do we have a CoC here? It might be worth creating and/or updating it to include this issue.

At this time, we do not. I think the "Rules" section (link in the page header) is where we could place an anti-harassment policy. The other half is getting harassed members to report abuse of the IM, PM, or chat facilities.

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I'll get around to updating the rules section, but lets be real - do you think the same people who are doing the harassing will stop to read the rules, and think oh shit I shouldn't do that. WHOOPS!

 

Nope.

 

I fully agree with the 3 strikes rule - and I don't think a forum, or new area is required to do report people.

 

So I'd suggest what AK suggested - Send the admins AND mods a PM (you can send one PM to multiple people) and tell them who it was. At that point we can warn the user via the admin control panel.. I will keep track of who is getting reported, and take the appropriate action.

 

While I have stated many times that I don't want to ban anyone - I WILL ban those who are harassing members to the point they were warned three times to stop.

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Ok has add to this has never pvt any the ladies unless they pvt me and see their point but hey is the internet you can ignore gee And saying that has had women disrespect me for no reason maybe caue I didn't come on to them is a 2 way street Bernadette know and chat with me a lot and am respectful all male or female and if I get disrespected I just ignore Always remember what you type and feel is not always what other read and feel and take with a grain of salt ppl We all here for one reason the love of fur and we all love in different ways and usually I find if u simply say not my thing they will respect and leave you alone

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Always remember what you type and feel is not always what other read and feel and take with a grain of salt ppl We all here for one reason the love of fur and we all love in different ways and usually I find if u simply say not my thing they will respect and leave you alone

Kudos to you for behaving cvivilised, which is what we're all looking for here. Unfortunately there are some bad apples who don't follow the same lead and leave when asked, but instead persist on and on - I've seen it happen to people both here and on other boards and it was for this exact reason we received a request to add an ignore functionality to the Chat Room.

 

If we've got people here who's primary focus is to chat with females and frequently go about it in a harassing manner, then perhaps that's the type of member better served elsewhere

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They can "express" themselves when the other half of the convo is a willing participant, if they're told NO I dont like that nor wish to continue in that vain & then they still persist then surely that turns into harrassment & goes down as a Strike ONE!

 

What you might find is that it's jus one or two over-exurbriant members are causing a bit of grief across the board, a word in the shell-like may well suffice.

 

here's one for left field..... not bad for a cricket fan I know..... can a separate IM facility be set-up in the fur fun area where everyone will then know its for the more risqué side of the fetish? I know thats more work...... but maybe an alternate solution?

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I agree with the "respect other people" but also saying "hi.. what kind of furs do you like or do you own" is to consider a bad approach?

Oh by the way.. hello to everyone and good job with the new site

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I think its more the "sexual" harassment & innuendo that folk are referring too & that it persists long after someone has been told NO which is after all quite a universal language.

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isn't there a list like the pm "friends and foes"?
Unfortunately no at this time. The IM and Chat software is provided by different vendors than the forum software and is only designed to only partially integrate with the forum software.

 

Currently the staff consensus is setting up a "three strikes" rule and using temporary bans if warnings issued on the first 2 strikes are not heeded. Further harassment could lead to a permanent ban.

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There is a friend and foes in the user control panel, but as far as I know it doesn't amount to much. It merely hides your status online, but the IM tool is not in that category. Which is why the invisible feature is there.

 

As far as implementing ANOTHER IM tool in the adult area - that's not something that I can do with the current software, and there isn't much other software like it that I've seen that's free.

 

The best I can say is if you're being harassed, and they wont stop after being asked to - just PM an admin/mod, and we will keep track of it. If it persists, then we will discuss as a group what to do with said user. If said user cannot behave themselves with the sufficient amount of warnings then I personally don't want them here anyway. I get the fetish aspect of the site, and who comes here, but asking someone to be civil, or a human being isn't something that should be unreasonable to ask. (run on sentence from hell)

 

To that point though - it is a fetish site for the most part since a majority wont contribute, and what is contributed for the most part is sexual. With that being said you're going to get a lot of sex crazed people who are going to want their fix. It's inevitable that something like this would occur with me trying to add as many features, and social aspects of it.

 

I truly apologize that this is happening, and I hope we all can come up with a reasonable way to deal with it if the said three strikes rule isn't good enough. I want this to be a community for ALL, but I will NOT tolerate continued harassment from people to the point I have members not wanting to be here, or having to hide when they do come. That was not my goal.

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